


Expectations

by advictim



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Artist Castiel, John's A+ Parenting, Law Student Sam, M/M, Mechanic Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-02 00:03:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5226212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/advictim/pseuds/advictim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hello.” says Gabriel, leaning to the car. “I’m your neighbor form the artist supply store across the street.”</p>
<p>“Oh hello” a man lifts his head from the engine of the car. “Nice to finally meet you, I’m Dean” the guy offers his hand for a shake after he cleans it on the rag. Dean really is attractive, broad shouldered, with a symmetrical face of classical beauty. Gabriel isn’t an artist, but he can see the appeal – there’s something about the looks of the man that makes him a perfect model for a drawing or a painting.</p>
<p>“Gabriel, nice to meet you too. Listen, I need to ask you a favor.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It started with a pencil. I like the story, and it is nearly finished, but I somehow lost motivation for writing, so I decided to brake it in to chapters and see what you guys think. Be harsh, I want to be better at this!
> 
> I dream of having a beta for fixing my non-native speaker mistakes.

Castiel slumps around in the store, feeling sullen and not exactly knowing why. Maybe it’s the weather. The sky is grey, it looks like it’s going to rain, but a little rain never bothered him before, so that’s doubtfully the reason. Just one of those days, probably. They are open for a couple of hours now, but thankfully, there wasn’t a single customer yet - more than a half of the stuff is still packed since moving in, and a few boxes with new goods arrived yesterday. There is much to do, and the shop doesn’t really have a storing system yet, so it will be difficult for a couple of weeks at least.

It would be wiser to start with older supplies, but Castiel opens a new package of pencils. He can’t resist – this is his favorite brand, and they just released some lovely new sets. As he opens one, Castiel sighs – they look better than in a catalogue, rows of neat sharp pencils, each a distinctive clear color, packed in a pretty, but practical box. He can’t afford them, not a whole set, but decides that he will buy one pencil, of those that are sold individually. Student versions of the same brand might be nearly a half cheaper than the professional ones, but one pencil will not break his budget, especially with the employee discount. Today he badly wants a treat, and, after all, he won’t be a student anymore in about a year, he needs the good stuff.

He starts choosing the color as he unpacks the boxes of pencils and puts them away in the shop’s display. The mossy green ones are amazing, and there is also an interesting shade of blue, but right now, there isn’t anything Castiel could think of that could be colored with those pencils, so he picks up a reddish brown one. This could be perfect for freckles. It’s not that he particularly likes redheads, but he wanted to draw someone with freckles lately. Someone with brown hair, not your typical light pale copper haired guy. It has to be a guy, and _of course not_ only because he likes guys. He has no idea where the inspiration came from, but longs to find a model and start working on a portrait immediately. Or even a series of portraits and naked full body pics, now that would be even better. Well, this will surely not happen before his shift in the shop ends, and he has no idea where to look for such a specific model anyway. Castiel is feeling down again, but keeps the pencil - one can never know when an opportunity might present itself.

“Hey, dearest brother-oh!” shouts Gabriel, in his usual flippant manner, while entering the shop. “Oh common, look a bit more happy to see me, I promised to help, and here I am, doing _you_ a favor.”

Gabriel is right – his shift is not supposed to begin until much later, but as he has an unexpected free day at the university, he agreed to come and help with sorting out the store. Castiel is glad to see his brother, and appreciates the gesture, but can’t help much with his temper at the moment.

“I am grateful for your help, Gabriel. It’s just that there is so much work to do, and I’m not really in a spirit for your bantering.”

“And what could be the reason for your foul mood, I wonder?” teases Gabriel theatrically. “Could it be because this it is a first not deadly hot day today since we started working here, and a certain mechanic in a garage across the street is wearing not only a t-shirt, but a plaid shirt as well?”

Both brothers glance through the window across the street. The is a repair shop there, and in front of it, two men, one young and one old, are talking next to a car, which has its engine hood open. They are both wearing unbuttoned plaid shirts over t-shirts, and jeans, but a day before, when it was really hot, a younger one was bare chested, with a t-shirt hanging tucked at the waist of his jeans, showing off his well-developed muscles. While unpacking, Castiel did look once or twice to that direction, as he did a day before (and a day before that), but he didn’t expect his brother to notice.

“I’m not that vain, Gabriel, this is more your style” Castiel meekly replies, blushing a little bit.

“Nah, not really my type. And don’t pretend you’re not eyeing him since we started this moving in business. Go and ask him out” Gabriel looks at him sternly.

“Really? Ask him out? Is he even into guys? And even if he is… look at him, he’s a car mechanic. I sincerely doubt that he’s into, as you like to call me – boring antisocial type for dating partners. What could we possibly talk about?” says Castiel, waving his arms to emphasize the point and nearly knocking down a stack of paint cans. The shop is small, and with the two of them and everything scattered all over the place, it’s nearly crowded.

“Nothing to talk about with a mechanic? Who’s vain now?” mocks Gabriel, not buying any of the excuses. “You’re picky, you don’t go out much, and you’re not the one to make a first move. You know that means you’ll die a virgin?” he continues, unwraps a lollipop, pops it in his mouth and picks up a box of brushes. “Should we put those in display at the front, or wait for a new batch to arrive?”

“Put them in display, we will look more like an open shop.” answers Castiel, glad to avoid discussing his dating options. “No one even came in yet.”

“It’s early morning, the university crowd will come after the classes finish. We will be full after noon, so you better go ask him out now.” Gabriel is not letting go of the subject. “Or I will do that for you, cause as your brother, I feel compelled to help you get laid.”

It’s not that Castiel expected anything more subtle form his brother, but he still flinches. He might not be a virgin, despite what Gabriel claims, but that doesn’t mean he likes to discuss sex.

“Do not embarrass me please, I don’t want to feel ashamed every time I pass them on my way to work. Like I said, I wasn’t that interested, and only admired his stature as an artist. He would be nice to draw.” Castiel babbles in attempt to stop his brother, but as he sees the expression on Gabriel’s face, he realizes he just made a huge mistake.

“Ask him to model for you!” Gabriel shouts enthusiastically. “It’s a perfect excuse! You can ogle him as much as you like, you won’t have to talk, and you can show him your gratitude afterwards by...”

“Stop!” Castiel shouts, not wanting to hear any of the obscenities his brother is bound to tell at the moment. “That is a stupid excuse. I don’t even have a budget for live models anymore, spent it all last semester. Our regular volunteers will do just fine, thank you. There is no reason to ask that man, and even less for him to agree, so drop it and let’s get back to work.”

“You’re not going to?” Gabriel presses.

“Definitely not-”

“Ok, then I will do it for you.” Gabriel deadpans, and nonchalantly walks through the door.

Castiel wants to run out after him, but that would cause a scene and even more embarrassment, so he stays, hopelessly watching his brother approach the garage across the street. He prays that Gabriel wouldn’t babble too much, so that at least some of the dignity could be reserved for the future, but knowing his brother well, he doesn’t have much hope. There still are many boxes to unpack and sort, so Castiel sets himself to work, determined to forget about this whole ordeal as soon as possible.

* * *

 

_“Hello.” says Gabriel, leaning to the car. “I’m your neighbor form the artist supply store across the street.”_

_“Oh hello” a man lifts his head from the engine of the car. “Nice to finally meet you, I’m Dean” the guy offers his hand for a shake after he cleans it on the rag. Dean really is attractive, broad shouldered, with a symmetrical face of classical beauty. Gabriel isn’t an artist, but he can see the appeal – there’s something about the looks of the man that makes him a perfect model for a drawing or a painting._

_“Gabriel, nice to meet you too. Listen, I need to ask you a favor.”_

_Dean doesn’t reply, just shrugs his shoulders urging Gabriel to go on._

_“I work in the shop with Castiel, my brother. He is an artist, he draws people, and needs a live model. He thinks you would do nicely, so maybe you could pose for him?”_

_The older man overhears most of the conversation. “Please, boy” he grunts. “Don’t tell Dean stuff like that, he will be walking around cocky as a peacock for a week now!”_

_“What can I say, Bobby, I am beautiful, and I can’t help it” replies Dean with a laugh. Bobby just rolls his eyes. “Don’t run away to be model just yet, will ya?” He grunts going back to the garage._

_“A model for a painting? That should be an experience” Dean turns his attention back to Gabriel. “How long would it take?”_

_Gabriel smirks. It’s easier than he expected. “Stop by the shop anytime today, would you? It is really my brother who needs you, so he will tell you the details, if you’re not entirely against the idea.”_

_“Sure, why not,” Dean replies. He looks flattered and amused. At that moment, another young man emerges from the garage. He is amazingly tall, but moves gracefully, unlike tall people usually do. In addition to that, he’s handsome and wears his perfect hair long, reaching his shoulders. Gabriel nearly drops his lollipop from the mouth. The tall guy approaches to give something to Dean._

_“Well well well, what do we have here?” Gabriel purrs. “Aren’t you a gorgeous creature?”_

_“Sam” replies the man, clearly not moved by the compliment. “And you are?”_

_“Gabriel. I work in the store across the street, and I was just telling dear Dean, that there was a certain artist eager to draw him. I am a man of words, not pictures myself, but I could see myself painting, if you were posing naked.” Gabriel winks. He is used to people dismissing him, because he is so ribald, or falling under his charm immediately, but Sam looks indifferent._

_“If that is an attempt to seduce me, you need a much better pick up line. I am as smart as good looking, so use your best one next time.” Sam states with a blank expression and walks away, leaving Gabriel speechless probably for the first time in his life. He is so stunned by the looks and posture of the guy, he can’t think of the reply in time._

_“That’s my little brother” snorts Dean. “And yes, he meant every word he said – he’s a law student, he’s brainy, he’s got the looks and could have any guy he wants, so don’t keep your hopes too high.” Dean finishes with a smirk, clearly proud._

_Gabriel is amazed and irritated at the same time. “Come by our shop sometime today, will you? We are still unpacking, though we should have been ready a week ago, but I’m sure my brother will be glad to see you. He really needs a live model.”_

_“I will.” promises Dean, shaking Gabriel’s hand goodbye, and goes back to work at the car’s engine._

_“See ya!” waves Gabriel, heading back to the shop. He has two reasons to be glad – Dean agreed to pose, and Gabriel just met the most incredible man in his life – and if he heard Dean’s remark correctly, that particular man was into guys. That was enough to keep hopes high in his book, so Gabriel goes back to the shop with a smile of satisfaction._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments I received for previous chapter are a much more powerful motivator than I thought, so I dedicate this to my first commentators - thank you. Criticisms are appreciated as well, and the feedback is what keeps me going.

Castiel hears the good news, mostly about Sam, but manages to extort enough about Dean’s response, so that when Dean himself enters the shop, Castiel is composed enough and arranges a posing for the class he teaches on behalf of his supervisor. It is at Thursday evening, and as Dean apparently isn’t planning to do anything important on weekday evenings, he agrees to pose free of charge just for the fun of it. “Hey, it is not every day you are asked to do that sort of thing,” - he mumbles, and the deal is settled. Castiel can’t wait. He keeps telling himself that it is because Dean is exactly the type he is willing to draw – dark brown hair, strong stature, well-defined muscles, but he can’t help but blush every time he looks through the window. The heat wave that manages to return the next day and make everybody lose as much clothing as it is possible without violating any laws doesn’t make anything easier either.

Thursday comes, and Castiel doesn’t have time to be nervous – he has classes to attend, and a few junior students to supervise, and then he has to prepare for his evening drawing class for the would-be students, that technically is his supervisor’s, but that he taught nearly from the beginning of his postgraduate studies. Somehow, he is sure that Dean will not come, that he will not think this to be important enough, so the students will be have to turn back to posters and statues instead. Castiel is nearly surprised when he sees Dean waiting outside his classroom, looking a bit out of place, but determined.

“Hello,” Castiel greets him with a smile. “Glad you showed up.”

“I promised, didn’t I?” Dean looks a little surprised at the comment and they enter the classroom.

“Here, you can undress and here is the cloth to wrap around your waist.” Castiel gives a piece of white fabric and shows Dean behind a screen. “We don’t have too much room, so this will not be entirely comfortable…” Castiel continues, but Dean just shrugs and goes to undress, not that bothered by a little lack of privacy. When he emerges naked from behind the screen, the cloth wrapped around his hips like a towel, the class is gathered. Dean goes to the platform Castiel shows him and sits on it. He attempts to make himself as comfortable as possible, finding a pose which would help him through the lesson with as little movement as he can. Dean sits with his one leg stretched out, another bent, with one hand resting on the knee, and leaning back on the other. Castiel goes from student to student, commenting on their work, sometimes picking up a pencil and correcting a line, and trying not to stare at Dean too long – especially after he notices Dean’s eyes are following him most of the time. After a while, Dean becomes visibly uncomfortable, but sits still, keeping the pose. As Castiel announces that only five minutes of the session are left, Dean looks relieved. People start to finish up and leave, some earlier, some staying a bit longer, but quite soon, there is only Castiel and Dean in the classroom.

“You can relax now.” Castiel smiles, when the last of students finishes the drawing. “You are a patient model, and an inspiring one too – most of my students drew quite remarkable sketches.”

Dean lowers his feet down the platform with a grunt. “Wow, that was hard.” He admits. “Who knew that sitting still was such a job?”

“Yes, that is why we are in constant search for live models. Most people decide that is it not worth the effort.”

“I’m not going to run away, but I don’t think I will ever agree to anything like this again.” Dean’s shoulders are slumped, and he tries to massage his calf out of sleep.

“Thank you, you truly are doing us a tremendous favor. But would you stay for fifteen more minutes? You can move and stretch, just don’t get dressed just jet, I would really love to do a quick sketch myself, and I couldn’t manage it earlier.” Castiel asks reluctantly. He is sure Dean will refuse, but he just can’t let the opportunity go – not when Dean’s whole face and back is full of freckles.

“Sure, why not,” shrugs Dean. “I survived for that long, didn’t I? Can I sit like I do now?”

“Of course,” Castiel beams. He doesn’t really need the pose – he can recall the look from memory, but naked Dean is a pleasant sight, and he has some features that just need to be drawn. Castiel makes a few quick sketches – just marking the main lines, he will improve on them latter. Maybe Gabriel wasn’t so wrong about this after all – at least there where bound to be some very good drawings, maybe even for his final project.

“You can go dress now, thank you.” Castiel tells Dean when he finishes and starts tidying up the classroom. “Hope this experience wasn’t too awful,” he adds after a while.

“No, it was all right. I’m not used to sitting still for so long, but I thought it would be more awkward. Any chance to see the drawings?” Dean asks from behind the screen, zipping up his pants.

Castiel closes and puts away his sketchbook. “Sure, come look. Not everybody left them, but you can look at the ones that are there.”

Dean, now fully dressed, emerges from behind the screen. He looks at some of the drawings and smiles. “These are quite good, aren’t they?”

“Yes, they are. And if you will stay, there will be even better ones. I will ask if anyone will give you one to keep as a memento,” suggests Castiel, and Dean nods in agreement.

”That’d be cool – I could tease the guys at the garage endlessly with one of these,” chuckles Dean.

Castiel locks the studio door behind them and is glad that the back exit is already closed, and they will have go to all the way to the front – the more time he gets to spend with Dean, the better, but he just can’t think of any excuse to prolong this evening.

As they turn the corner, they see a little kid, a boy about seven, bawling his eyes out, looking lost and helpless, but managing not to make a sound. That is so surprising, Castiel just stops there, but Dean strolls right to the kid, and kneels before him. “Hey, kiddo, it’s ok. We’re here to help. You’re lost, aren’t you?”

The boy just nods, eyes fixed on Dean with the look of hope and desperation.

“Yeah, no wonder, I got lost three times when I came in. These darn corridors all look the same.” Dean says reassuringly.

The boy stops crying and just sniffles. Dean takes out a paper napkin out of his pocket and wipes the kids face, then pats him on the shoulder. This is such an unexpected behavior, Castiel just stands here, looking with awe.

“Did you came in here by yourself?” Dean asks the boy.

“No, with my aunt Jessie. She was supposed to take care of me, but told me she forgot something and I…” the boy hiccups, “I had to wait and be silent. Somebody was singing down the hall, so I went to look, and then came back, but this is not the same corridor, and I don’t know where Jessie is.” The boy tells in a hurry and sniffles, and is about to cry again, but Dean fixes his gaze on the child’s face.

“Hey, hey, we will find your Jessie in no time, ok?” Dean squeezes the boy’s shoulder.

“Does Jessie draw?” Castiel finally snaps out of his freeze.

“No,” replies the boy. “She plays the piano and writes music.”

“Probably a composer, then. I think I know where she might be. Follow me.” Castiel goes back the corridor they just came from, passes his studio, and takes a turn to the left. Dean follows with the boy, who keeps glancing at Dean. Dean smiles back with reassurance. After another turn they see a young woman, who looks surprisingly alike to the boy, especially with that expression of panic.

“David, oh thank God!” relief washes over her face and she rushes to the boy. “Where have you been?”

The boy just hugs her.

“He wondered off and got lost. These corridors are confusing,” smiles Dean. “We found him just around the corner.”

“Thank you,” the girl replies shyly. “I wasn’t supposed to leave him, but I forgot to deliver my assignment. I thought I will just bring it in, but my professor just kept going on with the questions…”

Dean dismisses her blabber with a wave of the hand. “No worries now. Just don’t do that again, I can’t promise we’ll be here next time.”

“I won’t, and thank you. Would you like some ice-cream?” The girl’s attention is now fully to the boy, and it is clear that she is trying to buy out of guilt.

“Bye, buddy, good luck,” Dean waives for the boy and walks away, and Castiel follows.

“How come you’re so good with kids?” asks Castiel as they go towards the exit.

“It’s not rocket science.” Dean looks surprised. “And yeah, I practically raised my brother, couse my Dad was away too much, and my Mum died when we were little.” Dean shoves his hands into pockets and slumps his shoulders a little. Clearly, these are not the most pleasant memories.

“Sorry to hear that.” says Castiel, as they approach the stairs. The building is old, with high ceilings and decorative ornaments on the walls, and their steps echo in the empty corridors.

“It’s ok now,” Dean says, but looks a bit sad. “I like kids.” Dean adds as an afterthought.

“Would you like to have your own?” Castiel is curious, because Dean seems a completely different person from the good looking mechanic he stared at through the window.

“Yeah, is just this thing, you know – finding a right person to raise them with,” winks Dean.

“Surely there isn’t a shortage of willing women in your life, not with your looks,” Castiel blurts without thinking.

“Thanks,” beams Dean, and becomes much more serious after a moment. “But that’s the problem. I know I don’t look bad, I own a mirror. But I somehow end up with those, who don’t see much past that. I mean, I’m ok with hook ups, but there comes a point, where, you know, want something more serious?”

“Well, I’m sure you will find a right woman any time soon.” That isn’t a right thing to say, but Castiel never experienced anything remotely close to what Dean is talking about.

“Or a man,” casually adds Dean. “I, like they say, play for both teams.”

Now _these_ are some really good news. Castiel again fails to comment, because he is just so happy to hear that, so he simply nods in understanding. They finally approach the exit, and Dean looks back at Castiel. “Hey, wanna grab some food? Its way past my usual diner time, I’m starving.”

“Sure,” Castiel squeaks despite his best attempt to sound casual. Up to this point, Dean managed to show his gentle side, open up about his sexuality, and invite him for dinner – all without making anyone awkward. And Dean was supposed to be the less intelligent one.

“Have you ever been to Roadhouse? They’ve got the best burgers. And pie. Mmm, I can almost taste the pie...”

Castiel is not happy about the suggestion – the place is loud, full of truck drivers and bikers, and definitely not the one Castiel would choose himself, but Dean’s expression is so delightfully dreamy when he talks about that pie, and truthfully, Castiel can’t think of an alternative. Not that he can think of anything when Dean is close, apparently.

When they walk in to the place, Dean firmly places a hand on Castiel’s shoulder and guides him to the bar, where there’s a bunch of people chatting. Dean starts introducing Castiel, and this is usually the part that makes him feel awkward and unsafe, but everybody is friendly and he really doesn’t have to do anything, except nod and shake hands with patrons and waiters. Dean’s presence and his hand on the shoulder makes everything better somehow.

There is a huge guy sitting at the bar and grinning at them the entire time, and eventually, it’s his turn to be introduced. “Sam, Dean’s brother,” he smiles radiantly, a picture of warmth and welcome. He really is extraordinary, no wonder Gabriel couldn’t shut up about him, but he is nothing like a snobbish poser Castiel imagined.

“And this is Ellen.” Dean shows the woman, who just emerged from the kitchen. “She owns this place and is practically family, though we’re not really related. Ellen, this is Castiel, the artist.”

Ellen shakes his hand, with a curious expression on her face. She seems to be genuinely happy to see him, and Castiel immediately feels more at ease. And then she smacks Dean on the shoulder. Hard.

“Hey, what’s that for!” Dean cries, shocked.

“For not showing up so long! Burgers?” Ellen still looks a little tight, but there is hint of affection in her glare.

“Yeah, obviously. And sorry, I was really busy.” Dean replies, hugging Ellen, and finally letting go of Castiel. Not that it is such a big deal. Maybe a little.

Dean shows Castiel to the booth, where Sam is already sitting with a girl. Jo, Castiel remembers, Ellen’s daughter, and a waiter here. Jo nods to them approaching and leaves immediately to do her job, but Dean still sits next to Castiel. Castiel is very aware of himself, sitting so close to Dean, but the brothers start chatting and including him in their friendly rivalry, asking him to pick sides, till Jo comes back with their food and a plate for herself. The burgers smell heavenly, and as he bites in to one, juicy, tender and flavourful, Castiel lets out an involuntary moan.

“Told you, burgers are amazing,” Dean laughs, pleased. “Save some space for pie, it’s even better.”

The bar starts to fill up, the music becomes lauder, and soon its impossible to continue the conversation across the table, so Dean talks to Castiel only, and they have to lean in to each other’s ears to be heard.

“So, what’s with the names?” asks Dean.

“Names?” Castiel doesn’t get it at first.

“You and Gabriel have angel names?”

“Oh,” Castiel isn’t used to people knowing the origin of their names. “That’s what happens when you have academics for parents. They both are in to religions as a hobby, and mine and my brothers names are the result. Though, most people don’t know these are angels’ names?”

“Sam had a course of Bible mythology or something a couple of years ago, and I helped him test himself, and things like that, so I guess I picked some stuff up.” Answers Dean while picking at the label of his beer bottle, like he is a little ashamed of his knowledge.

“Have you ever thought of going to university yourself?” asks Castiel. “You are certainly smart enough.”

“Think so?” smiles Dean. “Nah, Sam’s the brains, I’m ok with using my hands for a living. Had to start earning early to sustain Sam and myself, and now Sam has to finish his studies, so I have no funds and no time for anything. But I did take a couple of those free online courses, just for the fun of it. Wasn’t that bad.”

“On what subject?” Castiel is genuinely interested.

“Engineering, mostly. Took an art history once.” Adds Dean reflectively.

“Really? You like art?” Castiel perks up.

“Not exactly. I like cars, the classic ones, and I was kinda interested in the period, you know, to find out what influenced their design, stuff like that. Didn’t finish that one, it was boring and not what I expected.” Dean explains apologetically.

“You should really think about studying. I know a course you’d be interested in – contemporary art and design. There are scholarships and other means if money is the issue?” presses Castiel as he can’t understand why someone would refuse academic achievements, if there is a slightest chance of pursuing them.

“Those should go to some poor kid, raised by a single mother or something. I’m doing fine as it is.” Dean sips from his bottle and Castiel doesn’t dare to probe further.

Later, they are so engrossed in discussing their favorite TV shows, that they don’t even notice that Jo left. Sam is chatting to some guy who’s now sitting in her place, and Castiel catches him looking at them and smiling a few times. Castiel feels warm and dizzy, though he only had one beer, and he is much happier about the choice of the place than expected.

They have their pie, and it is as good as promised, but at this point, Castiel could eat cardboard with a happy smile plastered to his face – and he can’t shake off this feeling even after the brothers walk him home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must explain that my experience with academia comes mostly from European institutions, so there are bound to be differences. Also, art is not really my area, so there might be mistakes on that regard as well - do point them out, I will be grateful. 
> 
> To Sabriel lovers - this is Castiel's story, so it is mostly focused on him, but Sam and Gabriel with have some sweet moments.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you know the feeling when someone, who's work you eagerly read and admired, leaves kudos for you? Well, now I do. I don't think my feet touched the ground ever since.   
> Any feedback I receive helps me stay motivated and I never expected this to feel so good. I bow to you all, thank you.

Next morning Castiel has to open the store, so he walks out of his home early, still high on last night’s emotions. He plays out various scenarios in his head, of how he will great Dean at his garage, what will they chat about, but as he approaches, the garage is still closed and silent. That is a dent in the mood, especially knowing that Castiel will not for the life of him dare to casually approach Dean and that means he will have to wait till Thursday to talk to him. A few morning customers arrive, mostly students stocking up before their classes, but Castiel still notices when the garage opens. Dean is yet to be seen, and Castiel keeps glancing through the window with nervous anticipation.

Later, as the stream of customers dries up, he goes to sort the stacks of paper in the back of the shop, but he hears a door bell tinkle again. Castiel turns around and there he is – Dean in all his glory, grinning, with two large paper cups of coffee in his hands. “I’ve noticed you’ve already opened, so I’ve brought coffee. Do you like yours black?”

“Yes. Thanks.” Castiel is barely able to speak for the joy of having Dean is his shop, and at the same time there is a strange sense of normalcy to it, like they managed to create some sort of bond between them, despite having a proper conversation only yesterday.

“Sugar? I took two packets, if you need some.” Dean fishes out a couple of sugar packets out of the pocket of his jeans and leans on the counter.

“Yeah, both of them.” Castiel stirs his coffee, and Dean lingers, drinking his and looking around. Castiel’s sketchbook is lying on the counter, and Dean opens it, looking interested. This is a bit uncomfortable, as there are unfinished drawings and completely failed ones in there, and Castiel doesn’t usually show these to anybody, but this is Dean, so Castiel stays silent and just stiffens a bit, waiting for a reaction. Dean casually goes through pages, and eventually opens to the drawings of himself.

“Hey, these are quite good,” he chuckles, with a bit of childish joy of seeing himself on the paper.

“Had a good model,” Castiel smiles back. This is the most he ever attempted at flirting. Nobody ever made it so easy before. And the move with coffee was brilliant – too bad Castiel himself never manages to come up with ideas like that.

Next day Castiel buys two coffees and greets Dean at the garage before work, and they settle in to this routine every morning – the one who starts later comes with coffee to the early bird. They get to chat a bit, and to know each other better, so when Thursday finally comes and the drawing session is finished, Castiel barely needs to gather his courage. “Burgers?”

“Oh hell yeah,” exclaims Dean enthusiastically. “Everybody’s already waiting for us.”

 _Us_ sounds delightfully good.

The Roadhouse is full of already familiar sounds and smells, with regulars hanging around at the bar, music not yet too loud. Sam and Jo greet Castiel like he’s an old friend instead of someone they just met last week and haven’t seen since. It’s strange to feel so comfortable outside home, and to be so accepted. Dean disappears in the kitchen to talk to Ellen, and Sam and Jo start questioning Castiel about his studies. It’s not often Castiel gets to talk about things he enjoys to people outside academy, and not get comments about how impractical it is not only to study art, but to seek a higher degree in that. Castiel tells them about pencils being his favorite medium, and not once anyone says anything about coloring books or kindergarten. In fact, both Sam and Jo listen to Castiel talk with obvious respect, and Sam, being a law student that he is, still praises Castiel for his achievements, as small as they may be.

Maybe it’s the sense of gratitude that surges in Castiel’s chest, and maybe it’s the surprisingly good quality of paper of the flyer that is lying on the bar, but Castiel starts drawing a quick sketch of Jo on the back of it with a pen that he snatched from the jar near the register. He usually hates drawing when somebody is looking, and right now, not only Jo stares intently, but a couple of the bar patrons peek over his shoulder. It isn’t his style to do quick unfinished sketches, he usually languishes over every line, but this time it’s different, and this whole situation is so different, that Castiel finishes his drawing in a few minutes, signs it and gives it away to Jo. She looks delighted and runs to the back of the bar to show it to another waitress. The other girl looks at the drawing with awe and a maybe even with a bit of envy. One of the guys, who watched Castiel draw, the one with a denim vest and a mullet, plops his hand on Castiel’s shoulder.

“You’re one talented motherfucker,” he loudly exclaims and belches. Others around them start to laugh.

“Didn’t know you’re such an art lover, Ash,” someone teases.

“Well, I am,” Ash flips his hair from the shoulder and goes back to drinking beer.

Castiel heard a lot of sophisticated praises from critics and academics about his art, but that remark from Ash is something that is so much more moving. Maybe even more important.

Dean emerges from the kitchen with two burgers and he and Castiel retreat to the same booth as week before. They again sit next to each other, even closer than they did last week, and Dean smiles softly at Castiel. There is so much of the feeling good vibe around, that Castiel thinks he will kiss Dean right now, damn the consequences. Dean’s gaze is fixed on Castiel’s eyes for a while now, and the distance between them seems to decrease with each passing moment without any conscious effort.

“Hey, guys,” Jo puts down plates of fries and a burger for Sam as he slides in to the seat in front of them. Castiel is grateful for the distraction – he and Dean are becoming good friends, and it would be foolish to lose this friendship over the stupid impulse.

“Ash here is telling people that you’re a famous artist who’s about to have a major exhibition,” giggles Jo. “Don’t know where he got that from.”

“Certainly not from me,” says Castiel, surprised. “The closest thing to an exhibition I’m going to have is a presentation to the theses defense committee at the university. But I doubt he knows about that.”

“That is so Ash,” snorts Dean.

As they start eating, Castiel’s phone chirps.

_Gabriel_

_> >Me bored lets do something_

Castiel frowns. The evening was going so well, he definitely doesn’t want to leave and go to some hype place Gabriel has in mind, but Gabriel won’t stop bugging until Castiel agrees.

“Something wrong?” asks Sam, leaning over the table a little.

“No, it’s just Gabriel. He wants to hang out,” sighs Castiel.

“Invite him over here for pie,” suggests Sam as if it was an obvious solution.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Gabriel can be a little offensive.” Castiel is hesitant. There were too many instances in the past when his brother’s lack of manners cost him a potential friendship.

“I’ve already met him, he’s all right.” Sam seems sincere. Castiel glances at Dean, but he just shrugs, chewing a mouthful of his burger. As reluctant as Castiel is, because Gabriel is bound to ruin everything, inviting him is still better than leaving.

Gabriel appears before pie does.

“Hello, peasants!” Gabriel shouts as a way of greeting. “And _olla_ to you, beautiful,” he adds locking eyes with Sam as he slides in to the seat next to him, much too close to be appropriate.

“Hello, Gabriel, nice to see you again. We’re about to have pie, want some?” It seems Sam is not perturbed the slightest.

“You offering me dessert is something straight out of my wet dreams…” sighs Gabriel with exaggeration, still not taking his gaze away from Sam’s face.

Sam just nods and waves to Jo. She looks at them from the bar and Sam points to Gabriel. That’s enough for Jo to understand and she goes to the kitchen to get the pie for all of them.

“So, is it just you two, or are there more siblings?” Sam asks, looking at Gabriel and seemingly unaffected by his advances, but Castiel notices that his ears are little red.

“What, you expect a better version of me to show up?” Gabriel pretends to pout.

Sam just raises his eyebrow.

“No, there are six of us,” Castiel jumps to conversation, if only to stop Gabriel’s innuendos. “Michael, Raphael, Balthazar, me, Gabriel,” Castiel nods to Gabriel’s direction, “and Ann. You wouldn’t like the rest of them, except maybe for Ann.”

“Yeah, they’re pompous bastards,” adds Gabriel, slumping in to his seat and crossing his arms on the chest.

“Wow, six,” says Dean. “For us it’s just me and Sam- well, there’s also Adam. Apparently, our old man managed to knock some poor woman up and not tell anyone about that, we only found out about him recently. I don’t even know where the hell he is now.” Dean is evidently disappointed with the situation.

Sam just nods sadly in agreement to that. “It must be nice to have such a big family.”

“Nope, not at all,” snorts Gabriel. “My father is a control freak and my siblings are his obedient soldiers. I and Cassie here are the rebels.”

“Cas, a rebel?” Dean sounds amused.

“Yes, I guess I sort of am,” agrees Castiel. “Gabriel was the first to refuse the path our father has chosen for him and run away. It was easier for me to voice my needs after that and I managed to persuade my father to let me do what I want.”

“Yup, he just cut your funding for living expenses. No big deal. That’s why we study _and_ work at the store, you know,” ads Gabriel.

“Yes, but he still pays for my studies. Not all of us are lucky enough to land such generous grants as you do, Gabriel,” Castiel tells pointedly to remind his brother that the situation is more complicated than their father not giving them enough money.

“Yeah, he pays because he still expects you to come back to work in his university. Don’t have any illusions, Cas, you are not out of his grip, nor am I.” Gabriel is serious for the first time this evening and the topic seems to put everybody in a reflective mood.

“To daddy issues!” shouts Dean suddenly and raises his beer. They all drink to that.

“What’s your story then?” asks Gabriel. “You also have so called daddy issues, don’t you?”

“Yup,” agrees Dean. “Our dad was a paranoid drunk and he died because of that, five years ago. Car accident. I was pissed about the car more than I was sad about him.” Despite what he says, Dean looks a little sorrowful.

“Yeah, but you managed to restore the Impala,” ads Sam. “You love that car way too much.”

“Hey, it’s a classic,” Dean points his beer bottle at Sam. “And you love Baby too, just too proud to admit it. We moved around so much, she was more of a home than any place we stayed at.” He adds and drains his bottle.

“At least your father didn’t kick you out for disobeying,” grunts Gabriel.

“Yeah, except he actually did. He caught me making out with my classmate, got hella angry, and even after I told him that it was just a phase, that I _was_ into girls, he beat me and I just had to leave,” confesses Dean with cheerfulness that sounds a little forced. “Went to straight to Bobby and he took me in and was more of a father to me than my dad ever did.”

Sam sighs as he listens to the story and nods when Dean finishes. “Yeah, and after listening for week what a disgrace Dean was, I packed my stuff, screamed that I wasn’t even bi-, I was gay and would never bring home a girl for him to meet, I went right after Dean,” ads Sam with a chuckle. “So I guess we kind of win this Shitty Dad Olympics.”

“At least yours had the decency to die early. We still have to deal with ours,” says Gabriel resentfully, and Castiel stares at him in horror. No matter what one’s father is, nobody should say things like that.

Dean manages a grin. “True. But my dad did manage to mess us up. After his death, I was scared shitless that one day I will end up just like him.”

“To the point we got these tattoos,” ads Sam, and yanks down the collar of his t-shit. There is a star surrounded by flames tattooed below his collarbone, just like the one Castiel noticed on Dean’s chest at exactly the same spot. Dean shows his tattoo as well, for Gabriel’s sake mostly.

“What does the symbol mean?” asks Castiel, as Gabriel tries to touch Sam’s tattoo and gets his hand swatted for that.

“It’s an anti-demon symbol Sam found in one of his books. Our dad was haunted by so many demons in his mind, it seemed fitting,” explains Dean. “We got those at the first anniversary of his death, as a promise to not let the same happen to us.”

That might be the most unconventional way to deal with loss Castiel ever heard of.

The pie finally arrives and it is as good an excuse to end the depressing topic as any. Despite their obvious differences, Sam and Gabriel seem to get along just fine, as Sam just ignores the antics and continues a relatively normal conversation. It turns out, Sam took same course of American literature recently, and as this is Gabriel’s field of research, they soon are engulfed in discussion about authors neither Dean, nor Castiel ever heard of.

Eventually Gabriel manages to say something to make Sam laugh and Castiel notices with a surprise the look of genuine affection on Gabriel’s face. Gabriel has a crush on someone too often for Castiel to keep track on all of them, but it seems that this time Gabriel is quite sincerely smitten.

 

_Later in the evening, Gabriel and Sam walk out of the bar a bit behind Castiel and Dean._

_“These two morons will not get together by themselves,” Gabriel says with a snicker._

_“Dean thinks Castiel is straight.” replies Sam. “So no, I don’t think so.”_

_Gabriel snorts. “I think we will have to do something about that. Let’s give them a couple of weeks, but I do have a plan already.”_

_Castiel and Dean walk side by side, glancing at each other, hands nearly touching, so obviously in to each other to everyone around them except for themselves. Gabriel can’t decide, whether it’s sweet or nauseating. “Idiots. Glad we aren’t like that – I stated my intentions the minute I saw you, so I think it’s time for you to stop pretending to be an ice queen and kiss me already.”_

_“Really? That’s your best line?” asks Sam in mock disbelief._

_Gabriel shrugs. “You show zero interest in my compliments. I decided a direct approach might be my best move.”_

_“Yeah, that could work.” says Sam after a pause, turns, and places a hard, wet, passionate kiss on Gabriel’s lips. That’s a second time Sam manages to stun Gabriel, and as he finally responds to the kiss, he wonders if a crush is still an accurate word to describe his current feelings._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a hectic week, but I couldn't disappoint you guys. Your support keeps me going, thank you so much!

Next week is pretty much uneventful, except that Gabriel keeps acting strange, leaving work early, disappearing at evenings and eventually not coming back home to sleep. Castiel is curious – Gabriel tends to brag about his love life and it’s not like him to hide anything, but every time Castiel tries to ask, Gabriel gives some poor excuse and changes the topic.

Thursday morning Dean is working outside, so Castiel keeps glancing through the shop window. That’s why he notices that a really nice car, obviously a classic, parks in front of the garage, and a pretty red haired woman steps out of it. Dean greets her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and he keeps his arm around her back, while they talk and laugh. Castiel has no idea what are they saying, but they sure look like they enjoy each other’s company.

There’s no need to be jealous, Castiel tells himself. That’s the main drawback of being just friends with someone – they are allowed to have and pursue romantic interests. Dean looks happy, and that means Castiel should be happy too, it would be selfish to think otherwise.

These are rational thoughts. Too bad, none of them have any impact on how Castiel is feeling.

 

In the evening after the class, Dean is buzzing with anticipation. “Hurry up, Cas!” he shouts, while Castiel still tidies up the studio. “I want you to meet somebody.”

Castiel is quite aware of who that might be and it makes it hard to keep up with Dean’s excitement.

When they enter the Roadhouse, the first person they see is not the redhead. In fact, it’s Gabriel, who sits on the bar stool, a beer in his hand, flirting with the waitress. Castiel sure didn’t invite him, but as last week wasn’t a complete disaster, it might be alright for him to hang out with them, as long as Sam doesn’t mind.

Castiel and Dean join Gabriel at the bar and Dean looks around expectantly. Castiel notices the redhead at the same time Dean does. She is immersed in the conversation with some woman and only nods to Dean. Dean waves and leaves her at that, and as curious as Castiel is, he doesn’t say anything. Dean will introduce his girlfriend when the time comes and Castiel is determined to be as friendly and accepting as he possibly can. If Dean likes her, she must be a great person, and there is no sense in starting to hate a friend’s girlfriend before even properly meeting her.

Sam shows up and Castiel notices Gabriel going stiff at the sight of him. Sam waves and nods to all of them, and then, to everyone’s surprise, including Gabriel himself, he swings an arm around Gabriel and kisses him gently on the forehead before a gentle “Hey.”

Dean and Castiel share a stunned silence while Gabriel and Sam beam at each other.

“So, you two are now, what..?” Dean is the first to recover.

“Boyfriends,” replies Sam firmly.

“We are?” Gabriel asks in mock surprise, but Castiel knows him well enough to detect a hint of relief.

“Of course we are,” Sam hugs Gabriel even closer. “I don’t do one night stands and you are way too much into me to back off. So yeah, we’re boyfriends.”

Gabriel just shrugs his shoulders in agreement and leans more into Sam, a content grin on his face. Castiel is wary, because Gabriel is not known to act gentle with his lovers, but on the other hand, this situation is quite different from Gabriel’s usual “ _so guess what, I’ve met this gorgeous creature, I don’t remember the name…_ ” as a way of introduction. Castiel glances at Dean, who looks like his beer has just gone sour, but Sam is giving him a pointed look, with and expression that can only be described as _bitchface_. It seems that the brothers manage to reach a silent agreement to just leave things at that after a few moments and the four of them head for the booth.

They sit down, and Dean keeps glancing at the redhead, as if wishing for her to hurry up. “You have to meet Charlie,” he says, turning to Castiel, “she’s awesome.”

She probably is, but Castiel still isn’t sure he wants to meet her. Their burgers arrive and there is an extra one, which is probably intended for Charlie. Dean loses his patience at this point. “Hey Charlie, stop flirting and come here, or I will tell your wife!” he bellows for a whole bar to hear, and Charlie gives him a glare, but Dean just chuckles.

“She’s married?” Castiel asks before he remembers to act indifferent, and it takes all he has to not appear so obviously relieved.

“Yeah, her wedding was the wildest we ever attended,” answers Sam with a grin, “the wizard of Oz carried out the ceremony, and I’m pretty sure the guy I drunkenly made out at the end of the party had pointed ears.”

Gabriel looks like he really wants to hear more of the story, but then Charlie finally joins them. “Sup, bitches,” she greets them taking a seat at the end of the table, and Castiel immediately finds her rather likable.

“Charlie, this is Gabriel, Sam’s latest stray dog,” Dean begins the introductions, and the look on both Gabriel’s and Sam’s faces promise war. “And this is Castiel, the guy I told you about.”

 “So you’re the artist.” Charlie stares at Castiel intently and he blushes. “You’re cute, how come Dean hasn’t banged you yet?”

“Charlie…” growls Dean and she turns to look at him. After a couple of moments of staring, her eyes suddenly widen. “Oh,” she exhales meaningfully and turns her gaze back to Castiel. “Ohhh…” she goes again and an awkward silence falls after that. Castiel has no idea why she’s acting so weird.

Sam coughs. “So, Charlie, how’s business?” 

It’s an obvious attempt to change the topic, but it is a rather clever one, because Charlie suddenly lights up. “It’s great, better than ever! The woman I was talking to before Dean interrupted me,” Carlie to gives a menacing glare to Dean, but he just mock cheers her with a beer, “She inherited a Mustang and wants to sell it. If it is really in the pristine condition she tells me it is, I already know three possible buyers. I can’t wait to see the car!”

“I kinda hope it’s a wreck,” says Dean, “I haven’t done any Mustangs yet. I’d love to try restoring one.”

“No worries, young padavan, I will bring it to you either way for a checkup. I wouldn’t trust anyone in the area for that, and this model tends to have problems with ignition, especially if it wasn’t stored properly.” Charlie is all smiles and giddy excitement.

 “Nah, I wouldn’t be too worried about the ignition.” Dean replies, relaxing in to the seat. “It can be fixed in a couple of hours in most cases. But if the differential is bust, it might take a while to restore. Even if you will find all the spare parts.”

Charlie retorts some more technical jargon to that, and Castiel doesn’t understand half of the words they are using, but Dean is so immersed in to the topic it is contagious.

“Guys, you do know not all of us breathe oil?” Sm interrupts after a while and Dean looks sheepishly at him.

“Sorry,” Dean mumbles turning to Castiel. “Charlie is a classic car dealer and sometimes she gives me restoration jobs. I thought she was trying to break into my Baby when we met.”

“I was just checking if the panel was an original one!” exclaims Charlie, “I would never hurt as beautifully restored car as you Impala is.”

“Yeah, I know that now,” Dean reassures her. “But then I offered her a ride and we’ve been best friends ever since,” Dean tells Castiel looking fondly at Charlie.

“And by best friends he means he’s been a faithful handmaiden to the queen that I am!” says Charlie with a swift of her beautiful hair. Dean just rolls his eyes and Gabriel looks to be the one most delighted by that remark.

It turns out that Charlie is a great addition to their company, and Castiel is almost sad she will have to leave after a couple of days and go back to Kansas, where she and her wife live. The evening is becoming late and they just lazily sip the remaining of their beer, barely keeping the conversation alive, when Castiel has a sudden thought. He starts telling it to Dean before thinking better of it.

“You call your brother Sammy and your car Baby. You seem to be prone to nicknaming things you are fond of,” Castiel wonders out loud, and immediately cringes. People usually don’t like being analyzed like that, but Castiel keeps doing that before he remembers to act like a normal person. No wonder he doesn’t have many friends.

Dean seems to be contemplating the idea for a while. “Well, _Cas_ ,” he finally says, with a clear emphasis on the nickname, looking Castiel straight in the eyes, “It looks like I really am.”

Castiel blushes severely to that, earning a loud _aww_ from Charlie. That warrants a chuckle from the rest of their group and Castiel relaxes marginally when Dean nudges him with a shoulder. It seems that Dean didn’t take any offence to the remark, and the teasing, while embarrassing, is good natured enough to endure without much difficulties.  

* * *

Eventually, they are done with the posing. Castiel’s own drawings are not even started properly, but he has enough material to work with at the moment, so asking Dean to pose just for him can be put off for a while. There is a much more urgent matter at hand – Thursdays at the Roadhouse. It was a nice tradition to go there together after the class, but since Dean will not be posing, Castiel is not sure it will continue. It sounds relatively simple in his head to say  _hey, are we still going to Roadhouse on Thursday evening?_ But Castiel chickens out every time, and now it’s Thursday morning, and the uncertainty is basically killing him. Being an introvert without any people skills to speak of wasn’t that bad since high school.

“Mornin, Cas!” Dean barges in the shop, carrying coffee. At least that remained unchanged, so there’s something to be grateful for. “Ladies,” Dean eyes two girls, probably first year students, packing up their purchases. One of the girls blushes, the other pretends not to notice Dean, and Castiel strongly wishes for them to hurry up and get out.

“So, what are you going to do in the class, now that you don’t have me as a model?” asks Dean, when the girls finally leave.

“We’ll start on colors. Cover the basics, learn to shade, tone, and things like that. It’s actually my favorite part,” Castiel answers, forgetting his anxieties for a moment.

“Cool! Will you do mine in color too?” Dean, surprisingly, looks expectant.

“Probably, some of them. The sketches you saw where just a warm up, but I think you could be a part of some of more serious drawings later. I have a lot of ideas, but haven’t started on them yet,” admits Castiel.

“So I will have to pose just for you, then?” Dean leans on the counter in to Castiel’s space, but he doesn’t feel the need to lean back.

“Would you? I could make photos, but a live model is something different,” Castiel barely believes his luck.

“Of course, you’re my friend. Just say when,” Dean replies casually, as if there weren’t any doubts about it. 

“I will.” And just like that, the matter is settled. A bit of anxiety starts to leave Castiel. If everyone was as easy as Dean is, Castiel would have no problem being much more social.

“Great. See you at the Roadhouse then,” Dean waves goodbye and Castiel waves back, feeling lightheaded with relief. He’s not only welcome at the Roadhouse, he’s expected to be there. It almost feels funny, how worried he was before. It’s Dean after all, Dean is his friend, and there is nothing to be anxious about. Maybe just that bit about being more than friends, but he will get over that part someday. Probably.

Castiel is giddy all the way to the Roadhouse – it’s the first time he walked there alone after all, but when he opens the door, the place feels like home. He nods to a few familiar faces, though he can’t remember most of their names. Looking around for Dean, he notices Sam and Gabriel at the bar, chatting to Ellen and the waitresses. Gabriel is leaning with his back to Sam, and Sam has his arm draped over Gabriel’s chest. While listening to something the girls tell them, Sam casually places a kiss on top of Gabriel’s head, and due to the pose and height difference, that’s a perfect place for Sam to kiss Gabriel without moving much. A content grin spreads on Gabriel’s face, and Castiel feels a short pang of envy. Sam and Gabriel seem to have it so easy, navigating their relationship gracefully, quite able to speak about things they want or expect. Castiel wishes he could be a bit more like Gabriel, just diving head first to any opportunity, but he knows just wishing doesn’t make it so.

“I just can’t wrap my head around those two,” Dean appears by Castiel’s side. “Opposites attract, and all that crap, but still.”

“Gabriel is a lot more than he appears,” replies Castiel defensively. “He’s very intelligent and kind hearted.”

“I get that. But still, look at them,” Dean snorts. “But if Sam is happy -”

“He certainly looks so,” Castiel admits. “They both do.”

“Ok, enough with the chick flick. Burger time.” Dean heads for the booth Castiel thinks of as theirs, and Sam and Gabriel finally notice them and follow. Thursdays are great, decides Castiel, when he’s adjoined to Dean’s side in the booth, first swigs of beer warm in his stomach. Thursdays are amazing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, i am grateful without measure for the feedback I receive.

“What are you doing after we finish?” asks Gabriel, just as the closing hour in the shop approaches, “nothing, that means you’re going to the movies with me.”

“Why do you always assume I have nothing better to do, then just hang out with you?” Castiel pretends to be mad, but he is actually too used to this. “Why aren’t you going with Sam?”

“He and Dean have plans. See you at seven in the movie theatre. You will not regret this, I promise,” finishes Gabriel strangely and heads out, leaving Castiel to close the shop. That’s inconsiderate of him and Castiel fumes as he finishes counting the cash at the register and locks the shop. Still, he is not mad enough to consider ditching Gabriel. A movie it is.

At the movie theatre, Gabriel hands Castiel his ticket and tells him to find the seat, while he heads to the bathroom. The theatre is full, and Gabriel seems to take his time. Castiel is lost in his thoughts as he waits for his brother to come back.

“Cas? What are you doing here?” Dean is suddenly standing next to him, confused. “I though you and Gabriel had an inventory at the shop?”

“What? No. Gabriel invited me to the movie, because you and Sam had plans?” replies Castiel, equally stunned.

Dean sits in the chair. “Sam invited me, but he gave me the ticket and said he would go get popcorn. Are you sure this is your seat?”

Castiel takes out his ticket and shows it to Dean, while looking around. Neither Gabriel, nor Sam is to be seen, and there are no more vacant seats. And then it dawns on him. “Oh God,” Castiel feels himself severely blushing, but there is nothing to be done about that. “I think Gabriel orchestrated this.”

“This what?” Dean is still bummed.

“He noticed I enjoy your company, and thinks we should spend more time together, so this is probably his attempt to encourage that.” Castiel tries for a neutral language, because there is no way he can say out loud that this is a date, though an involuntary one.

“Oh.” Dean seems to get what Castiel is trying to say. “I thought you were in to girls.”

Castiel snorts with embarrassment. How did he manage to make _that_ impression? “No, I’m very much not in to girls. I am gay and proud and I can’t believe I didn’t make that clear earlier.”

“Oh,” says Dean again, and his expression is a bit strange, but definitely not an unhappy one. Before Castiel has time to processes what it could mean, the lights go out, and the movie starts. Castiel tries his best to keep his attention to the screen, but he keeps glancing at Dean, and at one point, Dean is looking back right at him. They both snort, and Castiel is blushing again, feeling like a teenager at his first date. Dean didn’t storm out, and he is smiling, so maybe Gabriel was right, maybe he will not regret this. Maybe something good will happen.

When the movie finishes, Castiel still feels shy, and it looks like Dean is uncertain too, fidgeting a bit. They head out to the lobby, and Castiel turns around to suggest ice-cream, because Dean likes sweets nearly as much as Gabriel does, and that’s when he sees him. Balthazar.

Balthazar heads straight to them, and as happy as Castiel is to see his brother back from England, he feels there really could have been a better timing for a surprise meet up.

“Hello, my dear brother,” beams Balthazar. “I’m so glad to see you again.”

“Hello, since when are you back?” asks Castiel as they hug.

“Since morning. I came to see you and Gabriel, but you are impossible to find, so I decided to waste time in this crappy movie. Glad I caught you, should we get dinner?”

“Balthazar, meet Dean. Dean, this is my other brother, Balthazar,” Castiel tries to convey much more meaning in to the introduction, to keep Balthazar from inappropriate remarks.

“Pleasure,” says Balthazar, but there is a look of disapproval on his face, as he looks at Dean’s plaid shirt and ragged jeans. “So you do mingle with the common folk now,” Balthazar adds turning back to Castiel.

“Stop it, Balthazar. Dean is my friend and we have plans for this evening,” Castiel is furious, but not surprised. Balthazar was always vocal about Castiel’s and Gabriel’s decision to decline family money and go for their own lives instead, and he wasn’t approving in Castiel’s choice of friends even before that.

“It’s ok, Cas,” says Dean suddenly. “Family is important. Go, catch up with your brother. I’ll see you tomorrow.” There is sadness in Dean’s eyes as he briefly nudges Castiel’s cheek with his finger. It’s this simple gentle gesture that leaves Castiel deflated, unable to protest or to run after Dean and make him stay. It was supposed to be their first date, it was supposed to make things right, it was supposed to be so many wonderful things. As Dean walks away, Castiel tries to be mad at Balthazar, who just stands there like nothing happened, but there is no anger, just defeat.

“Can we go already? I do long for a proper steak,” says Balthazar and Castiel just nods, trying his best not to crumble in disappointment.

 

Next morning Dean is as chirpy as always, and dismisses Castiel’s attempts at apology with a wave of the hand. They fall back to the familiar interaction, and though Castiel is happy, he still wanders - what if Balthazar wasn’t there that evening?

 

Days fly, and soon Castiel realizes he has to think much more seriously about his theses. The theory part is pretty much done, as his supervisor was strict about that, but his art project is nowhere near finished. He quits his job at the shop and throws himself to work. Gabriel also quits, not because he has to, but because he says he doesn’t like it anymore, when he can’t work with Castiel. Dean complains about the change, calling the new shop assistants _hipsters_ with a tone that suggests it’s an insult. Castiel is sad about their morning coffee meetups until Dean develops a habit of ensuring Castiel has proper lunch. Sometimes Dean brings him sandwiches to the university, sometimes drags him out to lunch somewhere, and if the garage is extremely busy, he calls on the phone and nags until Castiel promises to go to cafeteria to grab something. Castiel calls Dean a mother hen on a few occasions, but that only makes him even more persistent.

Soon they get used to hanging around with Gabriel and Sam at Castiel’s apartment most of the evenings. Dean and Gabriel share beer and bicker about what to watch on TV, Sam is usually buried in books, preparing for one assignment or the other, and Castiel is working in the background, trying to catch Dean’s expressions, movement and other important bits to be incorporated in his drawings. It is clear to him that the final drawings will very much rely on Deans various face expressions, but this is a risky path for a theses defense, and hard work, and Castiel doesn’t have much time to think about anything else.

 

The drawings turn out a lot different from the original idea. They are huge, extremely detailed, but there is lightness and playfulness to them, even in the ones that show post-apocalyptical dystopian worlds. This is a very unusual topic for Castiel, and he strongly suspects that Dean’s favorite sci-fi blockbusters often playing in the background might have to do something with that. At first, the drawings seem to be random, each very different from the other, but as Castiel looks at his favorite ones – a heavily armed warrior, gently cradling a baby among ruins of some futuristic city, and a young guy, greeting Death with open arms and a smile on his face, he finally notices an unifying topic. He decides to call the series “Expectations”, and his supervisor is thrilled with the idea. The confidence boost makes Castiel work even harder.

* * *

Winter holidays approach. As much as Gabriel and Castiel try to fight it, they are forced to spend Christmas with their family. Christmas was always a huge deal in their house, and unless they wish to be on unspeaking terms again, there is no way they could be not going. Even Balthazar hasn’t missed a year, and he had to travel from the other continent most of the times. Gabriel complains a lot about not even being able to invite Sam, but this turns out for the best – Gabriel’s mood is too sour to attempt inappropriate jokes and pranks, and Christmas, all three days of them, with everyone acting politely cold, nearly pass without incidents. It’s only at the last day their father has to remind Castiel, why he ran from his childhood home as far away as possible.

“So, Castiel,” his father starts the conversation innocently enough, “your graduation is approaching. Are you ready?”

“I believe I am. Not all is done, but I should manage in time,” answers Castiel warily, already suspicious of where this is going.

“You know, playing with pencils will not ensure you a tenure track at the university, especially not at one a little more respectable than your current,” the elder Novak stops to sip his wine, and Castiel has to fight an urge to leave the table before he heard the rest of the speech. “I talked to my dear friend, a Head of our Arts Faculty and he assured me, that if you applied for work, he would ensure you get the best position possible. Your work will consist of analysis of early medieval religious paintings, as you will be an assistant to their best scientist, professor Metatron. I assume your tasks will be a little tedious at first, but that is what it takes for the best career in the area you so stubbornly chose.”

“I have no intentions of changing institutions, father,” replies Castiel, as calmly as he manages, mostly as a courtesy to his mother. “I am happy with the current situation and drawing is the activity I am most interested in.”

“Nonsense, drawing is fine while you still study, though I can’t understand why you couldn’t at least paint. But after you get your PhD, you can’t expect to survive relying on a hobby. I am doing you a tremendous favor, you should feel grateful!” Father is starting to get emotional, and it is never a good sign.

“Please, father, do not do me any more favors. I am not leaving my university, not any time soon.” Castiel’s reply is silent but firm. He hates these conversations, but they keep happening every time their family meets.

“Time for dessert!” shouts Gabriel as he emerges from the kitchen with a huge cake in his hands. Castiel and his father keep glaring at each other, but for now, the conversation is over. Castiel has no hope that it won’t continue sometime in the near future.

* * *

For a New Year’s Eve, Castiel and Gabriel are invited to the party at the Roadhouse. Gabriel is invited to many other places, so he and Sam decide to tour some of them and join the celebration later. Castiel is happy to be a loner without friends for once – he’s perfectly satisfied with giving all his attention to the Roadhouse, as it became his favorite place to be. Castiel works till the very last minute before the party, and when he arrives, the Roadhouse is buzzing with people, music loud and conversations even louder. Dean is in a middle of it, surrounded by people, pretending to sing to “The eye of the tiger”, clearly enjoying the spotlight. Castiel pauses for a moment and wanders what higher forces did he manage to please to have Dean is his life.

Dean finally notices him and with a loud “Hey!”, comes to greet Castiel with a hug. As Dean is already a little tipsy, he keeps his hand around Castiel’s shoulders and shoves a bottle of beer in his hands.

“It’s about time you showed up. Let’s get you drunk ASAP,” exclaims Dean, leaning a little in to Castiel. “I’m glad you’re here,” ads Dean seriously, looking Castiel in the eyes.

“Me too,” smiles Castiel, keeping the gaze. Dean looks like he’s about to say something more, but he doesn’t, just grabs a beer for himself and toasts Castiel. The buzz of the Roadhouse is accompanied by the buzz in Castiel’s head after a few swigs, and in no time, he’s drawn in to celebration.

Dean is clingy when he’s drunk.

Gabriel and Sam show up eventually and Dean lets go of Castiel to give them a hug. Sam bears it with the stoicism of someone who endures this regularly and Gabriel tries to get away before he’s grabbed and squeezed wholeheartedly.

“I don’t know what my brother sees in you,” says Dean still hugging Gabriel, “but he does, and if you hurt him, I will gut you. Just wanted you to know that.” Dean finally releases Gabriel and tries to look at him sternly, but the affect is somehow diminished by a little swaying that Dean does.

“Oh. My. God!” Gabriel rolls his eyes. “I’m way too sober to be given The Talk. Wait a couple of hours, will you?”

Sam snickers and hands out tequila shots.

The hangover next day is the first for Castiel, but despite being positive he will not survive to see another day, he still thinks it was worth it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse me for the liberties I took with theses defense procedure and art curating.

The dreaded theses defense is approaching. Castiel feels strangely calm about it – he did the best he could and feels ready to move on. His ambitions are simple – to have a teaching position at the university for the salary and to have enough freedom to draw to his heart content. After a few hints from his supervisor, Castiel feels this is quite manageable.

Castiel’s parents, as well as his sister Ann, announce they will show up for the public defense. This is a good sign, it means his father managed to warm up to the idea of Castiel following his own path, but their presence might be bothering and make things awkward. There is no polite way to say no though and Castiel steels himself for the inevitable.

Strangely, the event itself goes very smoothly. Castiel has been in many of them, watching his fellow students graduate and get their PhD’s, so he knows what to expect. Despite the professors he has to impress, he is in his element, explaining what he did and why, showing off his knowledge and skill. The only surprise is Sam and Dean, sitting next to Gabriel, who in turn sits next to Castiel’s parents and sister. All of them smile at Castiel reassuringly, and each time he catches the impressed expression on Dean’s face, he feels even more encouraged.

It’s all over quite soon, and only when the Head of the defense committee announces the defense a success, Castiel realizes how tense he actually was. There are people congratulating him, and shaking hands, and Castiel barely registers, because he has to concentrate on breathing and not throwing up with relief. Dean and Sam salute him and leave immediately, leaving Castiel at the mercy of his family and academics, and he wishes he could escape all this and go celebrate at the Roadhouse, where people might not get why an artist needs a doctoral degree, but where he would be congratulated much more sincerely. This is not happening tonight though, and Castiel tries not to zone out when someone delivers some detailed interpretation of his work, as if the author wasn’t standing right next to them.

There is a woman talking to his supervisor, and though she seems familiar, Castiel can’t really remember, where from. She keeps glancing at Castiel, but doesn’t come forward. She is obviously not from the university, and she wasn’t on his defense committee, but there is something about her that screams importance.

She is the last one to approach. “Congratulations,” she smiles a professional, measured smile. “I’m Bela Talbot.”

All the blood drains from Castiel’s face as he shakes the woman’s hand without feeling it. Bela Talbot, the owner and director of “Talbot art”, the most successful art gallery in town.

“I’m really impressed by your work, Castiel. Can I call you Castiel, or would you prefer Dr. Novak now?” she smiles again, but manages not to appear any more friendly.

“Castiel is fine,” laments Castiel.

“Good. I prefer close relationships with the artists we curate,” Bela steps way too close in Castiel’s space, making him even more nervous, “as you might have guessed, we would like to organize an exhibition for you. Would you be interested?”

“Yes,” answers Castiel lamely, because what else one could possibly say to that?

“Excellent. Due to the nature of your work, I’m thinking we could do this in a non-traditional space, some old factory or storehouse, how does that sound?” says Bela, taking Castiel by the elbow and guiding him back to where his drawings are arranged on the easels for the defense.

Castiel just blinks.

“I’m sorry,” says Bela, though she obviously isn’t, amused at Castiel’s lost expression. “I got carried away. I will let you celebrate and contact you about the details later. But there is just one thing you can start thinking about – we can manage a quite impressive guest list for the opening, so if you have someone important in mind, anyone at all, let us know. You might be surprised, what high level we can achieve.” Bela is obviously proud of herself.

Ash, Castiel thinks immediately. He probably isn’t what Bela had in mind, but he is the first one on the list.

The rest of the day is a bit of the blur. The celebration at the department is followed by the dinner with his family, at which his father tells about his plans for Castiel and Gabriel quite extensively, and Gabriel rolls his eyes nearly all the time. Any issues their family has are clearly not anywhere near resolved, but Castiel finds he just doesn’t care. He lets his father babble and as there is no pressure to promise or agree to anything yet, decides to deal with this latter. There is only so much one can achieve in a day.

 

 _Of course_ there is a celebration at the Roadhouse. Sam and Dean surprise Castiel the next evening by basically kidnaping him and taking him to the bar, where he is greeted loudly and hugged and patted on the back and all of this is repeated when he tells about the oncoming exhibition. Only then Castiel starts to realize that he finally did it, he got his PhD and landed a deal with a gallery and all this is so wonderful he is going to burst. The Roadhouse might be the most unlikely place to find home and family, but here he is and he is finally happy.

* * *

The exhibition turns out to be an even bigger deal than Castiel anticipated. There is a lot of preparation and fuss and despite Castiel being reluctant about the guest list, except for his friends (Ash included), Bela insists on inviting some pretty big names, critics and artists among them. Some of these are people Castiel admired for years, they are almost godlike, unreal, and yet many of them confirmed they will be there at the opening. Castiel can’t imagine why anyone would bother to show up for the no name like himself, but Bela acts like it’s no big deal. The biggest surprise is Balthazar, who flies from England a few days before the opening and Castiel doesn’t remember when the last time his brother visited that often was.

 

Castiel wakes up nervous on the opening day and it only becomes worse as the day progresses. His hands are shaking as he buttons up his shirt and he can’t sit still as Balthazar takes him to the old factory building, where his exhibition is supposed to take place. Everything is ready, the gallery did its job well, but the fact does nothing to Castiel’s nerves.

“I don’t see the reason to be so worked up,” Balthazar tells Castiel, as they wait in the small room next to the actual exhibition space for the grand entrance of the author. “People came here to see you, you should be happy.”

Castiel doesn’t stop pacing the room. “Can I skip it? The drawings are there, they are what matters?”

“That might be perceived as rude, love,” Balthazar looks annoyed. “Really, just calm down, you’ll be fine.”

It doesn’t reassure Castiel a single bit.

The gallery doors are open already. It’s about time for Castiel to show up too, but he just can’t. He starts to seriously think about running away, but the door opens and Dean barges in. “Cas, there you are! Are you hiding?”

“No, I’m- actually, yes. I don’t think I can do this,” admits Castiel. It’s childish and shameful, and Castiel doesn’t really understand why he is freaking out.

“Hey, pal, look at me. What’s wrong?” Dean grabs Castiel by the shoulders, concerned. Castiel glances at Balthazar, afraid of another inappropriate remark, but Balthazar just stands, leaning to the wall, hands crossed, watching the scene intensively.

“Nothing, I’m just… I’m panicking, Dean. There are some really important people out there, and I don’t think I can face them. These are the real artists, Dean, they do that for a living, and I’m just… What if… I don’t know… What if they decide I’m not good enough?” Castiel hates sounding so weak. Somewhere in the distance he can see Balthazar rolling his eyes, and despite understanding how ridiculous he sounds, Castiel can’t make the dread go away.

“But you don’t draw for them,” says Dean, looking intently at Castiel. “You draw for you, and if you like it, no one can take it away.”

“Yes, but still…” Castiel doesn’t even know what to say. He doesn’t understand why he is feeling so vulnerable, only that it has something to do with the people out there.

“I know. And I know it’s scary.” Dean is calm, and his voice is soothing, and his hands that are gripping Castiel’s shoulders are even more so. “But I’m here, Sam and Gabe are here, Ellen and Jo are here, heck, half of the Roadhouse is here, and we all like you, and like what you draw. Show up for us, and if anyone gives you a hard time, we’ll throw the bastard away. And besides, it’s my face on those big ass canvases, I should be the one worried,” Dean grins while fixing Castiel’s tie, which is unsurprisingly skewed, since Castiel kept tugging at it while pacing the room.

Castiel tries a weak smile. Yes, he can show up for his friends, even if it’s just to thank them for coming. He will let Bela deal with the big shots, and if they will dismiss him as an impostor, so be it. It’s still scary, but manageable, and Castiel takes a deep breath. “Ok, let’s go before I freak out again.”

“Go, tiger!” snorts Dean and follows Castiel through the door.

Castiel goes blind for a moment and all he can hear is a loud applause. Later, it turns out, he was blinded by the flashes of the cameras.

He’s treated like a star, people lining to shake his hand, praising him, eager to meet him, and no matter how hard he tries, soon Castiel doesn’t remember any of the names he’s told, because there’s just so many of them. He still feels awkward and like he doesn’t belong, but nobody seems to notice that. It’s strange to be at the center of attention, but at the same time completely ignored. He smiles and nods endlessly and people keep telling him things, but not waiting for an answer, like it’s more important to be seen with him, than to actually engage in any conversation. Dean hovers close for a while, but the tide of people sweeps him away and Castiel starts to feel lonely. He plays his part though, trying to pay attention to everyone, to respond appropriately, and after a while, he thinks he manages to act quite convincingly.

Overall, the opening seems to be a success.

* * *

  _The next morning, Dean wakes up in a sour mood and it only gets worse. He handles things with a little more force than necessary and the guys at the garage know better than to get in the way. It’s not their fault though, and Dean knows he’s acting childish. He has no right to be mad, there’s nothing to be mad about, and yet here he is, banging every surface, pouting and frowning, like a child on a tantrum._

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

_It’s nobody’s fault but his own, nobody told him to fall for the guy who is so much out of his league. Nobody told him to expect someone so talented, educated and kind hearted could fall back for a loser like him. He should have known this was not to last, he should have stopped hoping a long time ago. The sight of Castiel, surrounded by his fellow artists, by people who have managed to accomplish something, by people who are worth something, keeps coming back to his head and Dean thinks he could never be one of them. Not him, with his oil stained hands and nothing of value to show for the world. Castiel deserves better, he should find someone better, and judging by last night, it won’t take him very long. Those attractive guys in their expensive clothes, they were staring at Castiel and Castiel was smiling back at them, and by the looks of it, he probably brought one of them home. Or all of them, last night Castiel could have easily had all of them._

_It doesn’t help that Castiel was always kind to Dean. Damn, how could anyone resist, when a guy listens like you are the most important thing in a world. Not only he listens, he pays so much attention it makes Dean uneasy, like Castiel manages to see all through Dean’s bullshit right to his very soul. Or, like he is so fucking surprised when Dean plucks out a pencil from behind Castiel’s ear before saying goodbye for the evening, because that adorable idiot forgets it’s there to the point he would probably go to sleep like that._

_It’s easy to fall for the guy like Castiel, and somebody worth him probably will. It’s not Dean though, that much is obvious after last night, if it wasn’t before. Dean really should have known better._

_The rambling in his head is disturbed by the roar of the engine in their driveway and Dean turns to see one of the most beautiful cars ever made, a silver Aston Martin DB5, and it’s parking right in front of the garage entrance. The car rides, but the sound of the engine is wrong, it’s either oil, or the valves. Might even be the crankshaft, and either of those should be taken care of before the engine breaks down. Dean’s hands nearly itch to get under the hood of the car, until the door opens, and who other than Balthazar slides out of the driver seat. Great. Like it wasn’t a bad enough day without that motherfucker showing up._

_“Hello, Dean,” says Balthazar, a smug smile on his face. The bastard._

_“What are you doing here?” growls Dean, without even bothering to pretend to be civil._

_“I need someone to take a look at my car, and Charlie said you are the one to go to around here.” Balthazar acts as if everything is normal, but he doesn’t come closer to Dean, choosing to lean to his car door instead._

_Dean forgets his anger for a short moment. “Charlie? You know Charlie?”_

_Balthazar’s calmness is irritating. “We’re acquainted. She sold me this car.”_

_Traitor, thinks Dean. “Yeah? And what makes you think I want to take this job?”_

_“Ok, listen, I’m sorry.” Balthazar drops his act and looks sincere for the first time. “I know I shouldn’t have made assumptions, but I tried to protect Castiel. He doesn’t have the best judgment of people and tends to be used-”_

_“So me not being filthy rich is not good enough to be a friend of your brother?” Dean lets himself to vent his anger, even if Balthazar is not really the one causing it._

_“It’s not that. And… I watched you yesterday. You care about Castiel, and it’s good for him to have you. I was wrong, and I’m sorry.” Balthazar is nearly pleading now._

_Dean can’t really look at Balthazar and he really doesn’t want to stop being mad at him. “You should be saying that to Castiel. He’s a grownup, let him make his own decisions.”_

_“Hey, I was just trying to help him!” irritation finally seeps in to Balthazar’s voice. “Wouldn’t you do the same for your brother?”_

_“Oh yeah?” Dean nearly shouts. “My brother hooked up with Gabriel, and I didn’t say squeak about it!”_

_“Fair point,” Balthazar raises his hands in a giving up gesture._

_Dean snorts._

_“Again, I’m sorry,” Balthazar fully pleads this time. “Castiel needs you, truly. And I really need someone to fix my car.”_

_“Leave it. I’ll tell Bobby to call you when she’s done.” Dean pretends to look ruffled, but there is no more fight left in him._

_Balthazar nearly sprints to the office for Bobby and Dean opens the hood of the car. Maybe it’s not such a bad day after all. A flicker of hope Dean tried to kill all morning raises again, and this time Dean lets it be. Maybe they will manage to stay friends with Castiel, even after Castiel’s big success. Dean is not hopeful enough to wish for anything more._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dying to know - what did you like best? (And what you hated, or thought was badly written - I'm curious about that, too)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so very much to the wonderful feedback, you are the best motivators! And the geography in this is totally made up. I hope I will visit USA one day...

Life is good. The exhibition turned out better than anyone could have expected, many of Castiel’s drawings sold at the first day. Bela Talbot is definitely pleased and she promises to curate a second one, as soon as he has anything to present. This impresses people at the university as well and Castiel is offered a teaching position. Even his father, as impossible as it is, seems to be content enough to leave Castiel alone for a while, and that is the best outcome for both of them. What more could a man wish for? Well, there is one thing, but it does no good to expect to have everything, does it?

The routine changes, but Dean and Sam manage to remain a vital part of Castiel’s life, and for that he is grateful. Gabriel is head over heels for Sam, and Castiel considers Sam a dear friend. Sam is intelligent, curious and very kind, and though Gabriel is still a teaser and prankster that he always was, his jokes have lost the undertones of maliciousness that were abundant when Gabriel was single or, for example, with Kali (Castiel is still afraid of that woman, and is sure that Gabriel feels the same).

And as for Dean… Dean is exceptional. Not only he doesn’t belittle Castiel for his quirks, he often goes out of his way to cater to them. A failure to understand a Star Wars reference resulted in a movie marathon, complete with snacks, various beverages and proper dress up, and Castiel’s cringe towards bagged tea means that not only Dean’s place, but even the Roadhouse is stacked with a few kinds of loose leaf tea. More importantly, Dean doesn’t seem to mind that Castiel draws more than he does anything else. Dean manages just to be here, but he doesn’t need constant attention, and he doesn’t wear Castiel out like people usually do. He is a good company, and it becomes harder and harder to imagine life without him. As reluctant as Castiel is to admit, he is in love, plain and simple.

* * *

It is awfully frustrating. It is a third day in row when Castiel doesn’t do more than browse travel websites, but it seems that the universe is against him – all the plane tickets are either booked, or way too expensive. He really doesn’t want this year to be the first he misses the symposium after going five times in a row, but as the exhibition and theses defense took so much of his time, he couldn’t look for the plane tickets earlier. Why must it be so far away?

 

Dean beams when he comes over that evening.

“I’ve finally fixed my car, Cas!” he shouts as soon as he enters the apartment. “It’s not that late yet, come on, let’s go for a spin. You’ll love it, I promise.”

“I’m certain I will,” Castiel smiles back at Dean. He heard enough of Dean’s bickering about not being able to drive his Baby for quite a while, because the engine needed a serious fix and not all parts where readily available, and enough praises for the car to actually look forward to being driven in it. In _her_ , Castiel reminds himself, Dean always refers to his car as a “she”.

They go for a ride out of town, windows down, music blasting, wind messing with their hair. Castiel keeps glancing at Dean, who sings to “Carry on my wayward son” and smiles that lopsided smile of his, meaning he is enjoying himself immensely. Castiel is enjoying himself too – he could easily imagine both of them traveling like this for weeks, just the road, old rock music, and the two of them. It is a nice daydream and a couple of hours are lost without noticing.

They stop for milkshakes at the diner near the road, and if this was a date, Castiel couldn’t have imagined a better one. Yet, he is still happy– it’s hard not to be when Dean is bursting with joy.

When they go back, the sun starts to go down and they roll up the windows, as it starts to get chilly. Dean is lost in thought for a while.

“Man, I wish I could go on a proper trip. I drive someplace every spring, just to keep Baby running properly,” says Dean as they approach the city limits again.

“Why didn’t you go this year?” Castiel turns to Dean. The seat is wide and comfortable, and Castiel becomes drowsy.

Dean thinks for a while before answering. “Haven’t decided on the direction yet. Besides, I usually go with Sam, and he is not done with the semester yet.”

“It seems we are both prone to pilgrimage. I go to this art symposium every year, in Tolington. I won’t be going this time, though,” sights Castiel, remembering his futile attempts to find affordable plane tickets.

“Yeah? Why not?” Dean turns down the music, so they could hear each other properly.

“No plane tickets left. Should have started looking earlier, but with everything that happened, I didn’t have the time.” Castiel lets his head drop to the back of the seat.

“Yeah, the year was hectic for you. But you did great – I’m still not over the fact that you became famous,” Dean glances at Castiel and grins widely.

“I’m not exactly famous,” Castiel fidgets with his sleeve, embarrassed, “just because there were a couple of reviews in the papers…”

“Couple of reviews? You where praised in all the local papers, man. That’s awesome!” Dean looks so proud one might think it’s himself he was talking about.

Castiel simpers. “I guess it kind of is. Still want to go to the symposium, though.”

Dean goes silent for a couple of minutes before turning to look at Castiel. “Dude, you do realize, there’s an obvious solution to this?”

Castiel sits a little straighter. “What?”

“You have a place to go to, but no means of getting there, and I’m itching to go, but don’t know where – you see what I’m getting at?” Dean acts like it is obvious, but Castiel can’t really believe what he is hearing.

“You mean you would drive me? It’s at least a three day drive to get there.” Castiel stares at Dean, not yet daring to hope.

“So it’s perfect!” Dean looks excited with the idea, “we’ll spend at least six days on the road, you’ll get to attend your artist thingy and I’ll have a good drive. We could even take a longer route back, if you won’t get sick of me by that time.”

“I’m certain I won’t. But my _artist thingy_ ” Castiel makes air quotes, which never fail to amuse Dean, “will last three days, what are you going to do at that time?”

“Oh, I’ll find something. So, it’s a yes?” Dean leans to Castiel as much as keeping the hands on the wheel allows him.

“If you’re certain that’s not too much trouble…” Castiel is reluctant to show how happy he is with the suggestion.

“Come on, you’re basically doing me a favor. This will be amazing, Cas! I can barely wait.” Dean drums his palms on the wheel as if to emphasize his point.

“Me too,” grins Castiel. It seems, he is getting his daydream come true after all.

 

The trip takes a lot of planning, especially Castiel not being on board with all “we’ll figure it out as we go” thing. Dean rolls his eyes a lot, but is more amused than irritated at Castiel for that, so Castiel lets himself fuss about every detail. It’s inevitable that Gabriel and Sam learn about this, and strangely, they both not only insist to join them, but are even more excited than Cas and Dean. Dean is reluctant at first.

“I’m not going to spend six days seeing you making out in my rear-view mirror!” groans Dean.

“Are you jealous?” Gabriel wriggles his eyebrows. “Wish you had someone as fine as me to make out with?”

“As fine? What part of you is fine, exactly?” Dean quickly realizes he just put his foot in his mouth. “No, I don’t want to hear that!”

Gabriel just chuckles.

“We promise to behave, Dean,” Sam steps in. “Please?” And there’s the patented Sam’s puppy face. Neither Dean, nor Castiel are able to resist that.

“I’m sure it will be fine to take them, Dean,” Castiel joins the pleading. He still feels a little guilty for stealing the yearly trip from the brothers, despite numerous reassurances that this is not the case.

“Fine. But if Gabe is too handsy, I will throw both of you out, in the middle of the highway if I have to.” Dean crosses his hands on the chest, a perfect picture of a responsible older brother, but he doesn’t fool anyone in the room.

“Whatever you say, Dean-oh!” Gabriel nearly sings out.

“Stop calling me that.” But there’s no threat in Deans voice, just resignation.

* * *

It looks like Dean’s worries where unwarranted. The first day, Sam and Gabe are spending a lot of time passed out in the back seat, lulled by the gentle rumble of the car, and Castiel notices Dean’s fond expression when he looks at them in the rear-view mirror. Castiel and Dean don’t talk much, the music filling the silence in the car. They only stop for food and gas, keeping the roadside attractions for the back trip, but Castiel isn’t bored, letting his mind wander and enjoying the close presence of people he likes so much.

It’s quite late when they finally arrive at the motel Castiel booked for them. Sam and Gabriel leave for the nearby bar for a couple of drinks, but Dean refuses to join them, explaining that he feels too tired after driving for so long and Castiel, not being the bar guy, stays with him. They booked two double rooms in every motel for this journey and Castiel is looking forward to all the time he will get to spend alone with Dean.

They quickly go through their evening routine and settle in beds, but despite being tired more than usual, Castiel just can’ fall asleep. He turns and tosses, trying to find a comfortable position, but sleep avoids him and his mind runs wild about nothing in particular.

“Cas, you awake?” he hears Dean whisper.

“Yes. Sorry, am I bothering you?” Castiel turns to where Dean’s form is barely visible in the dark room.

“No, I can’t fall asleep either,” sighs Dean. “It happens after a long drive – must be the tension.”

“Probably. I usually don’t have any problem falling asleep. I feel so tired though.” Castiel gives up on trying and half sits reclining on the headboard.

“Hey, I think I know what might help. Just don’t freak out, ok?” Dean gets up and turns on the table lamp between their beds before Castiel can answer. He then rummages through his bag and takes out a battered book.

“Move over,” says Dean and grabs a blanket and a pillow from his bed. He then settles himself in Castiel’s bed, and as the bed is quite narrow, they are forced to lie really close. Castiel is still unsure of what Dean hopes to achieve.

“I used to read to Sammy when he was little and woke up after a nightmare, so I probably have some kind of reflex now. Hope you don’t mind Vonnegut.” Dean opens the book at random and starts reading aloud from the middle of the page. At first Castiel is too aware of the warm body he is pressed to, but he tries to focus on the words and despite his best effort to follow the story, his eyelids start to drop, and after a couple of pages, they close completely.

 

Castiel wakes up with a start. The room is dark, and he can hear as well as feel Dean’s even breathing. Castiel realizes he is lying on Dean’s chest, and Dean’s hand is draped over Castiel’s back. He’s not sure how they ended in this position, and even less sure if Dean would approve if he was conscious right now, so he tries to detangle himself, but it only makes Dean hug him harder and bring his other arm around Castiel too. It lands nearly on Castiel’s ass, and Dean sighs, still soundly asleep. It’s awkward, but too comfortable to try to get away, and Castiel shoves his worries to deal with in the morning.

When Castiel wakes up again he can still feel Dean’s arm on his back. He blinks a couple of times and then lifts his head to see if Dean is already awake, only to meet Dean’s green eyes and a soft smile. “Mornin, Cas. Did you sleep well?”

“Yes. Surprisingly,” croaks Castiel, still fighting sleepiness.

“Me too,” Dean smiles again and sort of strokes/pats Castiel’s back a couple of times. “I’m going to hit the bathroom first, ok?”

Dean gets up and drags himself to the bathroom, only to pause near the bathroom door and chuckle.

“You have a wild bed hair,” he says to Castiel, amused.

“I’m aware. I have yet to find a way to tame it,” answers Castiel self-consciously, but Dean just chuckles again and shakes his head.

“Don’t ever change, Cas,” Dean says before disappearing behind the bathroom door.

Castiel hears a shower running and let’s himself imagine that this is their normal morning, that he and Dean are together and wake up like this every day. It’s pleasant and painful at the same time, and he tells himself to snap out of it, but it takes a lot of willpower to accomplish that.

He is startled by a loud bang on the door.

“Wake up, guys!” Sam shouts behind it. “Hurry up, we want breakfast!”

Castiel gets up to answer the door, but Dean emerges from the bathroom, wearing just his boxers, with wet hair and a towel on his shoulders.

“Stop bitchin, we’re awake!” he shouts, not even attempting to open the door.

“Jerk!” shouts back Sam, but then it’s silent. Apparently, it’s enough of a reassurance for Sam.

Castiel gets ready as fast as he can, and after a hearty breakfast at the dinner, they are back on the road. Gabriel tries to whine about the music, but Dean tells him to shut his cakehole, and this somehow leads to a heated discussion about the merits of pie versus cake. All day is filed with teasing and laughter after that, with a culmination being Dean chasing Gabriel around the car at one of their stops for gas. It’s childish, but funny, especially, when for no apparent reason at all, Dean and Gabriel gang up on Sam and tickle him till he nearly screams.

In the evening, when they settle in their motel rooms after a couple of beers in the bar, Castiel grabs a pillow and cover from his bed, and before he can think himself out of it, settles next to Dean in his bed.

“Hey, aren’t you cuddly,” teases Dean.

“Right back at you. I still remember New Year’s Eve, you know.” It might be the beer, but Castiel isn’t even embarrassed about this whole situation anymore.

“I was drunk then, it doesn’t count!” gasps Dean.

“Being drunk is not a mitigating factor.” Castiel wraps himself tightly in the blanket. “If that makes you feel better, I can tell your cuddles are very manly. Now start reading, before Sam starts requesting breakfast.”

Dean snorts to that, but opens the book, once again at random. Castiel lets himself be drowned in Dean’s voice, not really following the words, and is out before Dean finishes the page.

When he wakes up, he can feel his back pressed to Dean’s chest, arms around him, enveloped in a proper bear hug. They share the same blanket for some reason, and this time Castiel doesn’t even try to wriggle out.

No, not cuddly at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so exited writing this chapter! What do you think?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I am beyond grateful for the feedback.

Next time Castiel wakes up, it’s in the morning, due to Sam banging at the door and shouting for breakfast. Dean groans somewhere to his back, and then shouts for Sam to shut up, loud enough to make Castiel wince.

“Sorry,” Dean tells Castiel much quieter. “Didn’t mean to wake you up so rudely.”

“It’s ok, I was awake,” yawns Castiel. “We should probably hurry up.”

“Yeah, my brother is an early rising douchebag,” replies Dean, but is in no rush. This time it’s Castiel who is the first to the shower, and it ends up being a cold one.

It’s the last day of their trip to the symposium, and as eager as Castiel is to attend, he doesn’t want today to end. They will still have their journey back, but for the next three days he will be separate from the guys and he nearly misses them already. Sam and Gabriel argue about the ratio of bars and museums they are going to visit, Dean tells about his plans to attend a rock concert and it nearly makes Castiel to want to drop everything and join them, but he doesn’t say anything.

They arrive at the motel quite late in the evening, and this time even Sam and Gabriel have no plans of hitting the bar. Dean opens the door to his and Castiel’s room and stops in the middle of the doorway.

“Oh,” he says.

Castiel pushes through him to see what’s wrong and stops half way to the room.

“Oh,” repeats Castiel.

This time, instead of two separate beds, there’s a double bed in the middle of the room. It’s huge, and there are hearts painted on the headboard. It looks like they got what passes for a newlyweds’ suit in this motel, but it’s already late, and Castiel really doesn’t want to spend any more time arguing with the manager. It looks like Dean is thinking the same, because he shrugs and enters the room properly.

“It’s not like we slept separately for the past two nights. It will even be more comfortable,” says Dean, as if reassuring himself more than Castiel.

They settle in, and the bed is quite comfortable, but it’s big, very big and as there is no reason to snuggle, they lie with a distance from each other. It’s more awkward than in the evenings before and Dean just fiddles with his book, not reading it yet.

“I really enjoyed these last days with you,” he says eventually.

“Me too,” replies Castiel, trying to convey all the meaning in these simple words.

Dean turns on his side and looks at Castiel.

“I’m not sure why you stick around, but I’m really glad you do,” silently says Dean and turns his gaze down. Castiel nearly chokes with emotions. He could tell Dean a thousand reasons why he sticks around and each of them separately would be enough, but it hurts to think that Dean thinks so little of himself when he is such an amazing human being. Castiel is at lost for words and just reaches for Dean’s hand. Dean lifts his eyes again and Castiel moves closer, because he can’t be looked at like that and stay so far away.

Suddenly Dean is kissing him.

It is careful and gentle, more of a question than a real kiss, and Castiel replies wildly, wanting more, urging Dean to give more. Castiel tries to make up for his inexperience by eagerness, which only makes the matters worse, but Dean is here, he is kissing Castiel back, and he is composed enough for the both of them. Castiel becomes aware of how much fabric is between them and he hates it, so he tugs on Dean’s shirt impatiently, wanting to get rid of it. Dean stops for a moment and looks at Castiel.

“Are you sure?” he asks, whispering, voice rough.

And of course Castiel isn’t sure, this is probably a huge mistake and will complicate things between them, but right now Dean wants this, and Castiel wants this so much, there aren’t any rational thoughts left, so he just rolls his hips and lifts his head for another kiss, so no more silly questions could be asked.

They both finish embarrassingly quickly.

Castiel dreads this next part. He is a little ashamed of himself, and not really sure how to proceed, so he just lays there with his eyes closed and an arm draped over them. He feels Dean getting up, and there’s that feeling of loss when he leaves for the bathroom, but Dean is back after a moment with a wet towel and he starts cleaning Castiel up. The movements are gentle and when Dean kisses Castiel’s shoulder, he finally dares to open his eyes. Dean looks at him and beams and there is nothing left for Castiel to do than to smile back and snuggle in Dean’s arms, when he is finally clean enough to do that.

“Not to underestimate Vonnegut, but I might prefer this for falling asleep,” murmurs Castiel lazily.

“Yeah? I’ll have that in mind next time,” replies Dean and kisses Castiel on the forehead. They fall asleep like that, close and content.

 

The first thing Castiel registers in the morning are gentle kisses and caresses all over his body. He arches in to them before he understands what’s going on, and when he hears a soft sigh, a flood of happiness nearly overwhelms him.

“Morning, Cas,” whispers Dean.

“That’s a very manly way to wake somebody up,” teases Castiel, bumping his nose to Dean’s jaw.

“Heh,” Dean lifts his head. “I can tackle you out of bed, if you prefer to be rough handled.”

Castiel backups a bit. “I’m good. Join me in the shower?”

Dean visibly perks up.

They take their time, enjoying being naked and close to each other, until the water turns cold and they have to hurry out. Dean is in the middle of putting up his shirt, when he stops and groans. “Damn it. We’ll have to tell Sam. And Gabriel.”

“Is that a problem? You want to keep this a secret?” Castiel feels dread squeezing his lungs. This was too good to be true, he knew it.

“No, no, of course not. It’s just… I just don’t know what to say. And they are going to tease. God, you can’t imagine how much they are going to tease.” Dean looks like he is anticipating a rather invasive medical exam instead of a simple talk with a family member, but Castiel is so relieved, this whole situation seems ridiculous.

“We don’t have to say anything right away. Let’s just wait for a good opportunity,” Castiel offers generously. After all, it is his brother who will not be subtle about all this.

 

Dean loudly knocks on their brothers’ door, probably to make up for the mornings Sam woke them up. Sam yanks the door right open, as if he was standing right behind it.

“Ugh, finally,” he mutters sleepily after a glance to Dean and goes to the direction of the bathroom.

“Finally? You’re not even awake yet!” bellows Dean.

“You were right, Gabe!” shouts Sam from the bathroom, without bothering to answer Dean. A flop of brown hair lifts itself from the pillow and a curious eye peeks to their direction from under it. Even right awake, Gabriel manages to look mischievous.

“Classic. Told you so.” Gabriel drops his head to the pillow again and Dean yanks Castiel’s hand.

“We will wait by the car, hurry up. Common Cas, let’s go,” Dean leads Castiel outside. “These two are not making any sense.”

It’s a beautiful day outside, the sun nearly blinding Castiel. Dean leans to the car and places his hands on Castiel’s hips, tugging him closer. He then turns his head to place a kiss on Castiel’s cheek and then Castiel notices it. Right under Dean’s jaw, on the left side of the neck, a small, but bright hickey is blooming. Castiel doesn’t even remember placing it.

“Dean,” says Castiel cautiously. “Did you look at the mirror today?”

Dean stops what he was doing. “No, not really. Why?”

“There’s a…” Castiel touches his own neck to show the place and Dean bends to the car’s side mirror to have a look. The angle is awkward and it takes some wiggling, but finally Dean sees it.

“Huh,” Dean stands up and grins. “Cas, you kinky bastard. Did you mark me, so I wouldn’t cheat on you this weekend?”

“No!” Castiel can feel embarrassment burning on his cheeks. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“It’s ok, Cas. I guess that solves the telling about us problem. But I can’t promise I won’t make one on you before we part,” murmurs Dean, leaning closer to Castiel.

Castiel chuckles and pokes Dean on the ribs with his elbow, but he can already feel the sadness creeping in. It will be especially hard to not see Dean after this, and though it’s only for two nights, Castiel knows he will miss him painfully. He doesn’t want to sound needy though.

Gabriel and Sam go through the door, and both start smiling at the sight of them. Dean goes tense, and Castiel starts to feel uncomfortable as well. He’s sure Sam will be reasonable enough, but it’s Gabriel that is standing next to him.

“So the bed finally did it?” asks Sam.

“It was you? You asshole!” Dean is ready to launch.

“Easy, Dean-oh, it was my idea. I switched the rooms,” smirks Gabriel. “Didn’t expect it to work.”

“It didn’t,” grumbles Dean indignantly. “Why would you even do anything? The cinema, and now the room, why do you even care?”

“Really, Dean?” says Sam, flailing his hands. “Why? Because it was taking you too damn long! The staring, the pinning – it was painful to watch!”

“So you noticed…” grumbles Dean, looking down and fidgeting.

Sam rolls his eyes and Gabriel starts to laugh. “Noticed? The whole town noticed!” Gabriel tells between bursts of laughter. “Everyone at the Roadhouse, and everyone at the campus noticed. My own students are writing sappy love stories based on you two, and boy do they suck!”

“What? Oh, that’s bullshit.” Dean looks pissed. “We have to go, Cas will be late.” Dean goes to the driver’s side of the Impala.

“Don’t be mad, Dean. We really are happy for you two,” says Sam, as they all climb in. Dean looks angry, but he keeps his hand on Castiel’s knee for the whole short drive.

When they arrive at the place, Castiel can already see some of the familiar faces from previous years and the excitement quenches his sadness a little. It’s still not that easy to part with Dean, especially that they can’t even talk properly, because of Sam and Gabriel in the backseat. Castiel watches the Impala ride away before going in to find his room.

Despite the longing lingering in his mind the entire day, Castiel is having a blast. The lectures are interesting, the workshops useful and the people worth knowing. Castiel soon remembers why he insists on returning each year.

It gets even better when he sees Kevin, a guy he met a couple of years before and sort of had a crush on. Kevin is a prodigy, not only working with different mediums, but excelling in mathematics and music as well. He creates installations that are simply breath-taking. Despite becoming famous, Kevin in humble and honest, and Castiel likes him very much.

When Castiel calls Dean that evening, he has a lot to tell. He talks about the different techniques he tried and the ideas he got, and he tells a lot about Kevin. Dean is a good listener, he keeps asking questions and Castiel can hear him smiling. When they finally hang up, Castiel realizes he didn’t even ask how Dean’s day went. He promises himself to remedy that tomorrow.

Castiel loses himself in the atmosphere of the symposium and the next day goes in a wink. He draws and paints and gets to know not only Kevin, but quite a few others as well. Some people recognize Castiel’s name from the reviews or have visited the exhibition itself, and it’s so much easier to be social when people come to him than the other way around. He used to go to bed early, not being the one to attend the informal activities, but this year he is invited so eagerly, he decides to attend. This results in a slight hangover the next morning.

Though the program for the last day is packed, Castiel is buzzing with anticipation to see Dean again. The phone calls were nowhere near enough and Castiel nearly bounces when he sees the Impala rolling in the parking lot. Dean gets out of the car to greet Castiel, but then Kevin choses this exact moment to come to say goodbye. They hug and promise to keep in touch, and Castiel is thrilled by the chance to introduce him to Dean.

“Dean, this is Kevin, the artist I told you about. Kevin, this is Dean, my…” says Castiel and stops, not knowing how to go on. They never talked about their relationship and what they are to each other.

“Friend,” says Dean and shakes Kevin’s hand. “I’m Castiel’s friend. Nice to meet you, Kevin.”

Castiel is stunned. Sure, he and Dean are friends, but Castiel thought they must have moved past friendship by now. Maybe Dean doesn’t want that, maybe that’s what he does, sleeps around without commitment and it’s nobody’s fault but Castiel’s if he thought he was somebody special.

Castiel climbs in the car wishing he could talk to Dean and clear things out, but Sam and Gabriel are greeting Castiel and urging him to tell how his symposium went. They lift the mood enough to make being in the car with Dean less awkward, but Castiel is eager to make it to the motel.

They arrive when it’s already dark. Dean sort of avoids Castiel’s gaze the whole time, so when they finally say goodnight to their brothers and close the door of their motel room, Castiel feels angry. He might not be the boyfriend of anyone’s dreams, but he is not a player and he doesn’t like to be played. If Dean doesn’t want a relationship, he will have to say it out loud and he will have to say it now.

“Dean”, starts Castiel, crossing his arms, and leaning with his back to the door of the room. “Do you regret us?”

“No, Cas! God, no, I really don’t.” Dean looks at Castiel pleadingly, and is about to say something more, but seems not able to find the words. He is sitting on the bed, and looks lost.

“Then why the strange introduction? I assumed we were more than friends by now?” Castiel asks gently. He tries to pretend he doesn’t care either way, but in reality it hurts quite a lot.

“I want to, Cas, but you really like that guy Kevin, and I thought it best not to stand in the way, if, you know, you wanted to have a chance with him…” Dean mumbles to his feet, not looking up.

“Why would I want that, when I have a chance with you?” Castiel starts pacing the room, because he is getting angrier and more confused by all this.

“Are you sure Cas?” Dean sounds desperate. “Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who gets your art, who you could be proud of? I’m not a great boyfriend material, Cas, I don’t think I will ever be. I’m just a laborer, and you are destined for fame, and you deserve someone equal, someone much better than me.”

“Better? How is Kevin better?” Castiel nearly shouts. “Please, Dean, if you don’t want to be with me, just say so!”

“I do, Cas,” says Dean silently, running a hand up his face. “But are you sure you want to be stuck with me?”

“Of course I am! I wanted to be with you since the day we met!” Castiel wants to grab Dean, to shake some sense in to him, but then he looks at Dean and the anger starts to dissipate a little. “Listen, Dean” says Castiel carefully, trying not to let his emotions take over. “Do you think my father is right, that I’m incapable of making my own decisions?”

“No, Jesus, why would you ask that?” Dean looks taken aback by the suggestion.

Castiel squares his shoulders. “So this is me making my own choice. And I choose you, you stupid thing. I chose you a long time ago, so stop acting like you know better and accept the fact!”

Dean looks at Castiel long and hard before finally getting of the bed he was sitting on and coming to him. They are so close, but Dean is still hesitant, and Castiel is getting impatient again, so he leans in and kisses Dean.

Dean melts into the kiss and they just stand there, in the middle of the crappy hotel room, kissing gently and carefully, like people, who finally found each other. In a sense, that is exactly what this is.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it was a shitty move on my part to delay the last chapter, and to make it such a short one, but I was offered a challenge I just couldn't refuse. A text for a song, can you imagine that! Anyway, i'm sorry, and i know you don't want excuses, you want the story, so there it is.

The kiss doesn’t make things magically alright. They have a variation of this same argument over and over, and they have other arguments, mainly because Dean is prone to hiding his feelings, and Castiel is prone to misreading Dean’s actions and jumping to conclusions, but they both think it’s incredible to finally be together, and so they learn to talk things out.

Dean is supportive of Castiel’s art and Castiel tries to return the favor by encouraging Dean to seek more, but that only leads to the same old _I’m not good enough for you_ nonsense, and it takes Sam to graduate and land an internship in a prestigious law firm for Dean to finally open up about what he really wants. Castiel feels like he won a lottery when Dean finally does. Classic cars are the love of Dean’s life, so it’s no surprise, when Dean starts telling about his dreams to turn Bobby’s garage in a proper specialized maintenance center. Despite all the encouragement, Dean still dismisses this as impossible to achieve. Finally, Charlie tells Dean to either go for it, or she will find someone else to work with, so Dean has no more excuses.

 

“Cas, get your ass in here!” Dean bellows from the bedroom.

When Castiel opens the door, he finds Dean standing in front of the mirror, holding up two ties. It is the first time Castiel sees Dean with a suit and the sight is gorgeous, despite the fact that both of the ties are hideous.

“Stop staring and tell me which one.” Dean lifts the ties higher to his neck. He looks irritated and uncomfortable, and both of the ties don’t go with the suit.

“Umm…” Castiel tries to make a decision and make a mental note to buy Dean a decent tie at the first opportunity. It is not the time to remark on the quality of the ties, as tempted as he may be. “I think, the green one. Yeah, definitely the green. You’ll do fine, Dean, I’m certain of that.”

“That makes one of us,” grumbles Dean, turning to the mirror. He finishes tying the knot, and smooths down his short hair with his fingers. He then gives his appearance a last critical look in the mirror and turns back to Castiel. “Well, how do I look?”

“Like a successful business owner,” teases Castiel, trying to lift the mood up a little. He then goes closer to Dean to peck him on the lips and whispers - “you are very handsome and should really wear a suit more often.”

“I hate the damn thing,” tells Dean and blushes nevertheless.

It’s time for Dean to go, so he steels his expression and leaves, and only then Castiel allows himself to give in to his own nervousness. He cleans the kitchen of their breakfast remains, if only to give himself something to do while waiting.

Sam barges through the door after an hour or so. “Any news yet?”

“No, not yet,” Castiel puts down his sketchbook. “I told Dean to call as soon as he can, but you know him.”

“Yeah, that jerk will drive around for hours wallowing in self-pity before he tells us anything.” Sam opens the fridge and grins, when he sees a bottle of champagne Castiel put there to chill. “You know it’s extremely unlikely he will get a loan after a first meeting with a banker?”

“So we will celebrate the first attempt. And drown the sorrow, if the need arises,” shrugs Castiel. In his opinion, this is as good a reason to open a bottle of champagne as any.

Gabriel joins them a little while later, and still no news from Dean. All three of them pretend they are busy with something, but the fidgeting and restlessness gives away the anticipation.

Gabriel is the first to give up, never been the most patient one. “That’s it, I give it another thirty minutes and I’m drinking the champagne, Dean or no Dean.”

Sam grabs him from behind, and hugs tightly, as if trying to stop Gabriel from executing his plan. “Hey, it’s my brother,” murmurs Sam to the hair on Gabriel’s crown, “I should be the one fretting.”

“If that was my brother,” Gabriel turns back to glare at Sam, “I would have already been high on candy. Now I just really want champagne. Haven’t drunk it in ages.”

It’s a good thing it doesn’t take too long for Dean to finally return home after that, because Castiel is not entirely sure even Sam is strong enough to stop Gabriel.

Dean enters with an unreadable expression on his face and proceeds to put away his things without saying a word, as if unaware of six pairs of eyes that follow his every move. He hangs up his suit jacket and loosens up his tie, still silent, and finally plops in an armchair in front the rest of them.

“Well?” Castiel breaks the silence. “How did it go?”

Dean sights and runs a hand over his face. “It was awful. I made a fool of myself and I’m still sweating like a pig. I am never going to do something like that again.”

“Oh, come on, Dean,” Sam sights with disappointment. “Don’t give up after your first try. I know it’s not the most pleasant experience, but you need that loan and there still are banks…”

“What? No!” Dean interrupts Sam’s rambling. “I meant I didn’t need to do that again. I got the loan.”

A short silence falls after that and then the room erupts in cheers and congratulations and everyone are obviously feeling joy and disbelief at the same time, except for Dean, who sits in silence and just observes the commotion around him without any emotions whatsoever.

“Dean, hey,” Castiel finally notices something is wrong. “Are you unhappy?”

“Eh? No, I… I don’t know.” Dean looks a little dumbfounded. “I know I wanted this, but I was doing alright, and now I have a loan, and what if this whole business goes belly up in a couple of weeks, and I will have to work all my life just to repay the debt, and it’s big money…”

“Then I will help you file your bankruptcy files and you will start again.” Sam states with utmost sincerity and crosses his arms on the chest.

“And I will be you sugar daddy!” Castiel chirps in. The remark makes Dean blush a little and Sam sort of scrunches his nose, but Gabriel looks gleeful.

“Oh, somebody finally managed to corrupt my little virgin brother!” he exclaims to everyone’s annoyance. “He’s got kinks now! I didn’t know you were in to that, but I’m the last to judge.”

“Oh, shut up!” Dean blushes harder. “Nobody’s corrupted anyone.”

“And I believe celebration is in order.” Castiel fetches the champagne from the fridge and gives it to Dean to open. That is a sure way to shut Gabriel up, because he is not the one to risk to be denied a drink.

“To “Singer’s Classic Car Garage”!” toasts Dean.

They each have glass and, much to Gabriel’s joy, decide they don’t particularly like it. Gabriel finishes the bottle, while others grab beer and the evening ends in watching old comedies on TV. The Novaks stay for the night, and Castiel thinks that they sleep at each other so often, it doesn’t make much sense to keep separate apartments anymore.

* * *

 

Dreams do come true after all, thinks Castiel, as he glances around his empty apartment. He knows that he should hurry up, as Dean has already finished loading up the truck with his things, and they are both eager to start turning the house they bought and restored themselves in to a proper home, but as some great memories where made in the apartment, Castiel lingers on the excuse of checking if they really took everything he owns.

Castiel looks in some odd places, like behind the cabinets, to see if there isn’t something worth taking hiding there. He finds the stub of the reddish brown pencil under the sofa, and smiles as he pockets it.

He really should buy more of that exact color, because there will definitely be plenty of freckle drawing in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's done.
> 
> There are already other stories rattling in my head, and some of them might even make it to the metaphorical paper. Someday. 
> 
> I never imagined it would be such a joy to receive feedback, and it actually made me realize what being part of the fandom family means. You guys are amazing, it would never have happened without you. 
> 
> Now, if there only was a way to write my theses like that...


End file.
